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Its almost a month since NC.  She is in another country and posting dozens and dozens of pictures on face book... .in gardens with flowers posing stylishly and seductively,

in a massage place in a bath tub... .climbing mountains with wild scenery and laughing ... .buying different kinds of veggies and fishes and posing with seller women, smiling and posing in nice dresses with my favorite color... .sitting in yoga posture... .she seems happy and ecstatic as if she is the happiest women in the world... .posts "I am in paradise"  "thank God for all the blessings ... .I can't ask for more"  "Life is too short... .enjoy it when its there" and so on ... .BTW... .in all pictures mostly she is by herself or sometimes ,with a female friend.

Please give your opinion on this behavior and its purpose ? Is it to hurt me more or something else ?

Look at what your missing!

It just screams of being there for you. She is probably hurting and wanting you to feel some of it.

Thanks. She did push-pull and then, silent treatment for 10 days... .making me extremely frustrated and angry... .I went NC saying I don't want to continue in this toxicity.

And, then, these pics appearing on FB for last 3 weeks.

These pictures and quotes are making me so weak and confused... .I think I am feeling so flattered thinking that someone I called "poison" is still into me ... .I feel somewhat guilty now... .and am not sure whether it is right thing to continue NC... .Is it fair to her ?

You have to stop worrying about her feeling and start worrying about whats fair for you.

Is it fair to be in a toxic relationship? Do you want to go back to what you had and how you were treated? What do you want from life and can this person really give it to you?

I will be suprised if you answered yes to any of those questions.

Today, I am confused... .BUT... .I am not breaking NC... .If she contacts me ... .I will have a good talk to her about her behavior.

That doesn't sound to me like No Contact.

I'm sorry that I don't know your backstory, and how she must have hurt you and destroyed this relationship with her unacceptable behavior.  However, no contact is for YOU, not her.  Unless you are using No Contact as a Silent Treatment (i.e.- living completely in the enmeshed, pathological push-pull craziness that is BPD) to get back at her, I suggest you do nothing of the sort.  If you are truly in No Contact and she contacts you, hang up, delete the e-mail, ignore the text, call the police to have her removed from your presence.  Giving her a piece of your mind is EXACTLY what she wants you to do.

Next thing you know, you'll be buying her a $25,000 Tiffany diamond ring and apologizing for everything that you did wrong to her.

If you need to be out of her web of crazy, what are you doing looking at her on Facebook?

Get out and stay out, or start using the tools found on the Staying section of this forum, to make your relationship a healthy one.  Right now, your Facebooking / stalking her is no less crazy than her flight into health, happiness and paradise.

Good luck-

Surg_Bear

Folks with the disorder walk a very tough road, life is hell and borderlines are in survival mode most of the time, so she is probably so immersed in her own sht she doesn't have the time, energy or focus to think about hurting you.  My take is she's in pain, again, emotions she can't soothe, so she's running towards ecstasy and creating her own bliss as strongly as she can, and any 'likes' she gets provide external validation.  I'm happy dammit, can't you see?

That's my hallucination WTKM, you know her, so apply as needed.


So would you agree they aren't positively adding to you life and are not helping your detachment?  We tend to get reactionary in these relationships, responding to the chaos and our confusion, reacting not acting.  Part of taking our power back is to take control of and remove negative influences in our lives, get rid of things that bring us down.  Ready to do that yet WTKM?

She is playing with your feelings! My exBPD did the same whenever we broke up. It's a game she's playing, she really isn't having fun she's just pretending. In reality she's completely messed up. Don't fall for it just let her believe in her fairy tale.

I think it's a result of the NC. Keep going with the NC, you can unsubscribe from her feeds on Facebook so you don't have to see them. If the relationship is official over I guess you need to block and remove her from your Facebook. Believe me even when she says it's over she's going to contact you after a while. The entire point is to get over her, if you keep seeing photos of her on "how great her life is" the recovery is going to become only harder and harder.

Really don't fall for her game, it's a trap. Ignore her and move on.