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Its been over 2 weeks now of NC. The longest we have gone. And the hits keep coming. Yesterday it was a stupid message about the possibility of getting a call from an attorney. Today its marketing emails from her husband's company (they are separated). Anything to get attention.

I'm sure its different for everyone but how long until she loses interest?

Is it better to just delete messages rather than blocking? My thought is blocking just fuels the fire.

Just block her. She won't be able to contact you anymore. Even if she does it will take her some time and effort and then you block her again.

Hard to predict and the lengths are different for everyone.

My average is around 4 weeks of NC, during that period mine try all the tricks they can and then switch to something else.  Oh and sometimes they try to hack your emails/FB within a time frame of 2-3 months after NC... .yeah, that happened.

But I'm sure it can vary a lot.

As far as deleting or blocking, my advice would be to do what's best for YOU. If you really are serious about not letting her pull you back in no matter what (and it sounds like you are) just do what suits you. Most of them are pretty intuitive. Once they feel you mean it and there is no chance to recycle, they'll be gone in a hurry.

The best way to get someone to lose interest is to become boring using Controlled Contact. NC is just a tool, a temporary one unless there is a physically abusive situation. NC is for you, not to punish her, it's to help you get an emotional foothold. I'm not pushing Controlled contact, that's up to you if you feel strong enough.

Controlled contact is used so that you can back away from the relationship slowly so that abandonment triggers are lessened, for both of you. You decide (control) when the phone calls are to be made, such as what day (I can tall on Thurs) and you decide how long the call will be. Such as, I have about 10 or 15 minutes to talk and then I have to ____. Stick to the time frame. Be boring. Then you draw out the calls further and further apart.

You said your breakup/makeups usually happen one or two weeks apart so this is right on schedule. It's predictable, it's a pattern for both of you. Since you are refusing her calls, texts or emails her fears are being triggered and she is trying harder like you say.

I think you're right, the attorney "heads up" and ads from her H work are vying for your attention. I think you're also right blocking can ramp up her attempts at contact, deleting them would be for you, not to keep reading them or listening if it's voicemail if you are still struggling.

Hope that helps.  :)

Yeah, I'm going to leave it alone (not block) and just keep a record of the 'crazy' in the event I need it for the future. I don't trust myself to have any controlled contact with her as she is an excellent liar and manipulator.

Wow, just incredible. You can't make this stuff up.

I am so thankful for this site. I can't even begin to tell you all how useful it has been.

Yes. One of mine was a sociopath too.

Diabolical lies, manipulation, and deception.

Stay strong, she will switch her attention eventually.

I blocked because I did not want to be bothered with seeing his messages or calls.

I needed time to heal.

Funny, I didn't really need too... .he flipped a switch and I stopped existing!

However, it gave me 'peace' and space. I was not tempted to 'check my phone or email' 100 times a day to see if he had tried to contact me.

NC. Block FB, Phone and Emails (if you can). Change passwords if she knows any of yours.

They can be extremely sneaky.

I'm going through something new.  I was left for a replacement HERE. In the past it was an ex in another state so I am not sure what to expect.  One thing is for certain... .mine keeps in contact with all exes and has left exes for exes.

She also lives a mile away.

Knowing how her history repeats I am on lock-down taking care of me.

That's all you can do... .take care of you. Youve been taking care of the BPD and neglecting yourself. You need this time to get back to you.

Oh lookie, I guess exBPD is back trolling on FB. Funny, she told me her account was hacked and took it down immediately after our first contact. 2 weeks of NC.

That's funny.