|
Title: i have co dependency Post by: married21years on June 12, 2015, 02:10:33 AM no shock here done this test
Am I codependent? I recently saw a questionnaire which I’ve adapted for people with BPD. 1. Do you have a hard time saying no to others, even when it’s in your best interest to do so? Y 2. Are you always sacrificing your own needs for others? Y 3. Do you derive a feeling of self-worth from helping others? Y 4. Would you feel guilty or worthless if you stopped helping others? Y 5. Do you know how to have friendships that don’t involve you in the “helper” role? Y 6. Would you still be friends with friends who no longer needed your help? Y 7. Do you feel resentful when others are not “grateful enough”? N 8. Do you feel uncomfortable when you are receiving help, rather than giving it? Y 9. Do you think your friends have chaotic lives and drift from crisis to crisis? Y 10. Did you grow up in a chaotic family? Y 11. Did you think it was up to you to keep the family functioning when you were growing up? Y 12. Are many of your friends plagued with severe social or emotional problems? Y 13. Is it important for you to be “the dependable one”? Y got a single no, yes is codependency folie Title: Re: i have co dependency Post by: Notwendy on June 12, 2015, 05:28:13 AM Welcome to the club :)
This was not an easy concept for me to understand. I felt as if I was pretty independent- but that isn't the definition of co-dependency. One can be an independent person and also emotionally co-dependent. What do we do about this? There are probably many options, T included, but it was our marital T that sent me to 12 step groups. I found that really confusing, sitting among people with co-dependency and also different addictions. When my sponsor gave me the big book of AA to read, I was even more confused because I don't drink much at all, and so could not relate to alcoholism. But over time, I could see the relationship to addiction- the overall pattern that is similar regardless of whether the addiction is alcohol, drugs, gambling, work, or --- to other people - which co-dependency is. It takes time and effort to deal with this, but having experienced recovery from co-dependency- a constant work in progress, sometimes forwards and backwards- I feel there are great benefits and that it has been worth it to do the work. If you are in T, ask what resources are out there and /or look up local 12 step groups if you are interested. |