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Today I find a little comfort in his unhappines... .I realize it's not healthy and not constructive but that seems to be the only thing that makes this knot in my stomach go away and I'm sick of replaying this and that in my head and trying to make sense of something when I know there's no answers that will take the pain away. Knowing he will never be happy helps for now so I guess I'll go with it for now.

 

Hey Yolanda-

Detaching from and healing from these relationships is a process with several stages, and may I suggest that where you are is entirely healthy and constructive, in that it's part of the process.  What if you're exactly where you're supposed to be in that process?  There are five stages of grieving, denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance, and it sounds like you're tired of the denial, meaning tired of replaying things in your head, hoping for a different outcome, looking for things you could have done better, trying to reframe things in a way that doesn't hurt, yes?  And now you might be entering the anger stage, with a little desire for revenge thrown in, if he's unhappy then that's good, and a little bit of acceptance that he is who he is and it won't change; the stages don't necessarily need to be in order and you might flip-flop around in them for a while.  And if you choose to believe you're exactly where you're supposed to be and decide to feel what you're feeling all the way without making yourself wrong or trying to change it, just feel it, it will pass.  The only way out is through, on the way to your bright future.

Thank you for the support and advice fromheeltoheal 

 If and when fatty hits bottom I will take you all out for drinks. Username69  can get the second round. Lol

Count me in on that too, Beach_Babe.  Hell... .I'll shout a few rounds :)

You just reminded me of a person that had smelly feet and a body part that smelled like tuna. Did anyone order a Pizza Tuna?