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Title: Why does she hurt me? Post by: TimApril on June 15, 2015, 07:21:21 PM My friendship with a BPD woman changed when I told her I had feelings for her. (at the time I didn't know she had BPD)
Ever since then she's been off and on with me with the push and pull. She knows how I feel about her but always seems to flash and rub and flash her "happy" dating life in my face. My question is why is she out to make me jealous and hurt me? It's like she gets off seeing me jealous or upset. Title: Re: Why does she hurt me? Post by: joshbjoshb on June 15, 2015, 11:05:58 PM The real question is why indeed do you get jealous or upset.
Are you scared she will leave you? Title: Re: Why does she hurt me? Post by: married21years on June 16, 2015, 01:37:01 AM a person with BPD has to control the level of closeness getting close feeds their worries of what happens if you get close and she loses you not having you close makes them feel they are losing you
imho catch 22 Title: Re: Why does she hurt me? Post by: married21years on June 16, 2015, 01:51:29 AM BPD people are driven by emotion. these are the emotions they feel that drives them to do what they do
by doing this they control the level of there emotions. they are running from their emotions rather than dealing with them. Title: Re: Why does she hurt me? Post by: TimApril on June 16, 2015, 03:46:48 AM How can I get this to stop without pushing her away? I don't want to lose her... .but I want her to know that I care. Next steps?
Title: Re: Why does she hurt me? Post by: TimApril on June 16, 2015, 03:49:43 AM Another example. When I politely asked her to not discuss her dating life with me because it upset me too much to hear as I have feelings for her, she came back literally right after and got involved with someone else. It felt like a jab at me. If I were to step back and ignore or avoid her she would get mad at me... .
Title: Re: Why does she hurt me? Post by: married21years on June 16, 2015, 04:13:24 AM sounds like she is trying to punish and blame you for letting her go?
sorry, maybe NC is the best way Title: Re: Why does she hurt me? Post by: TimApril on June 16, 2015, 06:23:39 AM Should I just back away and let her come around? I don't want to lose her.
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