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Title: Any advice? Post by: Skoda on June 19, 2015, 11:59:03 AM My mother has BPD and has been in and out of hospital. At the moment she is particularly unwell and when she is like this insists on calling and texting a lot and asking questions like "I need I know you still love me" which now makes me really uncomfortable as we don't have that kind of relationship and never have as a result of her behaviour. Is anyone dealing with this at the moment? Any advice on how to cope?
Title: Re: Any advice? Post by: Leaving on June 19, 2015, 03:33:54 PM Skoda, do you have a counselor that you can talk to? I understand your discomfort but I think speaking with a professional is the best support you can have during these types of situations. It's not always good to patronize the disordered person and it certainly isn't good for you. But each situation is different. Usually my counselor has a very practical and diplomatic way of handling these types of situations.
So sorry you're dealing with such a difficult situation. Stay strong. Maybe others on on here will be able to provide more insight from experience. My NPD/BPD mother doesn't 'beg'... .she just discards everyone and anyone who doesn't dote on her. Title: Re: Any advice? Post by: Kwamina on June 19, 2015, 05:45:45 PM Hi Skoda
Welcome to bpdfamily I am sorry to hear that your mother has BPD. Many of our members have a BPD parent too and know how difficult this can be. I can understand how your mother calling and texting so much could make you feel so uncomfortable. We actually have a workshop here about this subject. The workshop is about people with a BPD relationship partner, but the dynamics described also apply to people with BPD parents that engage in this type of behavior. Here's a short excerpt: People suffering from BPD are often afraid of abandonment. This can cause them to instinctively call their partner by phone (or text messages) excessively at any time. Failure to answer can trigger rage or self-destructive thoughts so the non will constantly feel obliged to pick up the receiver. With the advent of cell phones, there is a permanent invisible connection between the partners, causing both to lose their identity and struggle to act as individuals (enmeshed relationship state (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=111772.0)), increasing the problems of the pwBPD to regulate emotions. You can find the workshop here: COMMUNICATION: Handling inappropriate phone calls (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=137370.0) You mention your mother being particularly unwell now. Is she at this point receiving any kind of treatment or therapy for her BPD? |