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Title: Starting to detach Post by: Chicken Soup on June 19, 2015, 09:13:39 PM I think it started Valentine's Day when I realized the cats and I have more intimacy than I do with her.
Since then, I've taken off the wedding ring (told her it was interfering when I exercise), and I don't attend church with her on a regular basis any longer. I'm happy when she goes to bed before I do. And after two straight evenings of her unloading on me, and reading some of the lessons, I need to work on a plan for leaving. The plan up to this date is to leave in 2018, after the youngest graduates. A voice in the back of my head says I should prepare for leaving earlier. Thanks for letting me share. This is painful. Title: Re: Starting to detach Post by: Beach_Babe on June 20, 2015, 05:36:12 AM These relationships are quite painful. Kudos to you for taking steps to remove yourself, however. Do you think your wife would be open to counseling?
Title: Re: Starting to detach Post by: DreamerGirl on June 20, 2015, 05:47:25 AM Hi Beach_Babe,
I'm sorry to hear your pain. I totally understand it. I also have taken off my birthday diamond necklace from BPDbf. It just felt right to me to do so. You mention a plan of leaving, but then when you mention the word prepare, I sense from you may be giving your power to her to decide? What stops you now? Children are resilient if they have two loving parents, so why are you staying? Title: Re: Starting to detach Post by: FannyB on June 20, 2015, 08:16:38 AM Chicken
Sorry to hear your tale of woe. Do you think that she's really getting worse, or is it just a case that you're worn out by the cumulative effect of living with a pwBPD for so many years? These relationships can be very one-sided, and even the most loving, patient person is bound to run out of gas at some point! Cheers Fanny |