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Title: Changes Post by: lovenature on June 24, 2015, 10:20:27 AM My uBPDexgf lives right across the street. I am not ready to move, mainly due to family.
I have changed how and when I do things to try and avoid seeing or hearing her. What changes have you made to avoid contact with your ex.? Title: Re: Changes Post by: UserName69 on June 24, 2015, 04:07:18 PM You should accept the fact she lives right across the street, she decided to move on without you so you should too. Even if she lived next to me I wouldn't move out, she isn't worth it.
I blocked her completely from my life. Even if I would see her again I wouldn't talk to her and simply ignore her. Life goes on. Title: Re: Changes Post by: Mutt on June 24, 2015, 04:53:16 PM Hey lovenature,
I can understand how stressful it is when your ex moves across the street. I live across the street from mine for the last two years and I plan to move to a more affordable place this year. Sometimes the sight of her after the split triggered my PTSD. It felt awful and it took me 30 minutes to feel better after I saw her. I also think everyone's experience is different with our members. Have you seen her or ran into her? How does it make you feel? Title: Re: Changes Post by: lovenature on June 24, 2015, 09:06:08 PM She hasn't moved on; stalking, phone calls, delusions, speaking to me if she sees me walk down the street, will walk right into my house if the door isn't locked (typical lack of boundaries), believes we still have a relationship even though constantly accusing me of being with another woman. I have tried many different ways to get her to leave me alone, 100% NC is not realistic and trying to reason with a BPD is futile.
I want to reach acceptance and indifference, tough when she won't go away and I keep hearing the same things. Restraining order that she won't respect anyway? She gets arrested and charged, BPD woman scorned? I never knew the true value of peace in life until going through a BPD relationship. Title: Re: Changes Post by: Mutt on June 24, 2015, 09:17:04 PM I think acceptance and indifference is a realistic goal and it takes time. If she's walking into your house, I think she's crossing serious boundaries.
It's her choice to act accordingly if you get a restraining order. If she chooses to break court appointed boundaries, that's between her, the cops and the judge. I'm sorry you're going through all of this. The dust will eventually settle and life will resume with peace. |