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Title: Male, living in UK with 6 yo son - mum has BPD traits Post by: gmr on July 01, 2015, 05:59:34 AM hi,
I've been with mum for over 7 years now. There was never really a honeymoon. It was always a bit of a disaster. I guess I liked it as first... .I was on the rebound a bit and it was sexy, exciting. I moved from Scotland (leaving job, house) to be with partner in SINGAPORE. After a few months we moved to London. After a few months more she was pregnant. She is German. Lots of things have happened. At the moment she 'getting me to accept things'. After I asked for her order in a cafe she grilled me to accept that I was shouting. The only way to stop the treatment was to accept. Last time I refused to accept behaviour I didn't do she phoned the Samaritans and accused me of emotional abuse. Over the weekend, in Germany, her new father-in-law (sort of grandad) injured our son. It was a stupid accident, throwing him up too high. He got a neck brace. After the accident I wanted to check my son. See if he could feel anything in his hands, arms. Later she accused me of screaming at her. "Screaming" was the word she used many times. I was told that "we cannot move forward until you accept this." She tries to wind me up. If I say anything that upsets her she starts talking in German to our son. This is depsite the fact she is happy to use English even when I'm not around. Many, mnay other things. Emtional, psyho and physical stuff. Exhausting! Title: Re: Male, living in UK with 6 yo son - mum has BPD traits Post by: Qura on July 02, 2015, 08:03:08 PM HI there, I think I experience similar situations. My wife sometimes speaks loudly (fact that our 3 kids are around then does not make much of a difference when she is upset - means 80% of the time) and accuses me of screaming when I just speak, or change my tone or speak very slightly louder (mostly I start to whisper then - that works a bit).
With my wife it started very romantic too... read more on my recent long story post (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=279272.0) My wife speaks Spanish to my kids all the time - good for them I think, however I sometimes am concern that she speaks things which I do not understand, to influence our children (I recently translated - she said something that there are plenty of toys in Colombia for the kids, which in extreme case could be preparing children for an escape, it is hard to believe thought). If I asked her about that she would most likely just scream at me again, go away, so I try a different strategy, to listen closely and translate myself. Anyway, If you need any translation from German pls let me know. Maybe I can help. All best |