BPDFamily.com

With one being a peaceful life and ten being chaotic hell... .

Most times a 2-3. Previous dysregulation before I found this site resulted in a 6-7.

When I'm around him, a 8-9. When I'm not and the distance helps, a 2-3. He reaches out via text,email, phone and through our children.

Since I have been a member of this site, it's 2-3 most days... .on 'bad days' it has not climbed passed 5-6. When he dysregulated big time right before I found this place it was a solid month of 8-9.

If I compare to my life prior to this r/s, which was me living alone in my own house taking care of my own needs, having nobody to answer to but myself, I'd say 5.  The past few months have been 8+.   The best times during this r/s, I would say 2 or 3. 

If I consider that all r/s take work at times, and compare to what life is like in any r/s, the best times would rate at a 0-2 (slightly more chaotic than a normal r/s), the average about 4, but the worst is still 8+.   

Before our separation 1 year ago, 85% of the time , 1-3.  The other 15% of the time, 6-8

First couple of months after our separation (and first found the site) 90% of the time (during and after dysregulation) 7-9.  The other 10% (times we were together before dysregulation), 1-4

Last 5 months, 90% of the time (times we were together before dysregulation) 1-3.  The other 10% (during and after dysregulation), 4-6.

It has gotten a lot better however I've noticed the extinction burst have gotten more "cunning" so to speak.  Maybe trying to find my boundary or to see if the "lever she pulled" would "pay"?

1 to 2.

after years of treatment my partner no longer qualifies for a diagnosis of mental illness, has a good management plan, and maintains stability as well as I do.   bumps in the road are just that, bumps in the road.   

because she was just released from care there is still a feeling of fragility in the air and we carefully negotiate challenges.   

8-9.5 when he's around. 2-3 when he's not. It's been 2-3 for a while now except for the police accompanying him here this morning to get his stuff, but police presence made certain he behaved himself.

Most days a 4. Lately a 7. When i was single, six years ago, eberyday was a 2. If I had a do-over... .red-flag

I think most of us, if we had a do-over, would not have chosen this path. The problem is that pwBPD can be so charming and ingratiating at first and then it's later we see their true colors... .

 

So... .I'm going to think about last 6 months

80% 2

10% 4-5

7%6-7

3%8

My one comment on the little bit of 8 or the bad times... .is that they seem to have gotten "weirder".  That could be because there are longer stretches of good times... .so bad seems "odder" or it could be because she is reaching for... doing "weirder" stuff.

Like... .forwarding my emails to my kids and her family.  She has done some nutty online things before... .but... to me it seems that is a new "high"

FF

3 on good days, the episodes, dysregulation 9, irritablness, rude, mean, complaining, demeaning which occurs more frequently 7