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Title: A moment of joy Post by: Mel1968 on July 01, 2015, 01:39:06 PM Hi guys
I'm sitting here grinning and I just wanted to share my joy, instead of my usual angst... . Had text/email conversation which lasted most of today where basically she gave me so much grief for the fact that she'd heard that I went OUT at the weekend ---how dare I? As any of you who've read my posts will have seen, she accuses me of sleeping with most people I come across, men and women. Anyway, I did a mixture of trying to follow the communication rules and getting embroiled, mainly due to FOG I realise now, even though we're not even together and I should be able to go out... But then. She told me that she'd been out with someone who has been a real issue for us both because she pursued ex. Ex contacted her and they went out. Nothing happened between them apparently ( and I do believe this) and ex clearly contacted her just to upset me, because she'd heard i'd gone out. My initial reaction was fury at the hypocrisy (and I do still feel so cross about that, given all the grief she gives me about even speaking to shop assistants) but then the amazing thing happened--- I realised I didn't care! Genuinely! My first reaction was, ooh, that's a bit gross (woman is at least twenty years older and a bit of a predator) and a bit sad, and I waited for the desperation to flood me that I'd always assumed would be the case at the thought of her and someone else... .and it hasn't yet! I feel like the magic has been broken, maybe I'm no longer under her spell! I'm not naive enough to think this is the end of it and I now just walk away and rebuild my life... .But however I feel in the future, I know that this was my initial reaction. She's just sent me a text saying she's sorry that I'm hurt and I'm resisting the temptation to tell her I'm not hurt, I'm feeling joy! Mel :) |