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I cannot believe what I did today, however, in reflection, I am quite proud!

I walked out on a client and announced that I resigned from helping her.

(I hope it goes over well tomorrow after they hear about it at work)

The nature of my work puts me in a position to consult with clients to offer my recommendations.  It is sometimes the case that these clients are demonstrating boundary buster type traits or personalities.  It is my job to deal with the personalities and accomplish the goals set out.  (The clients are often in stressful circumstances... .some anxiety and difficult behavior is MO for the course)

Tonight, I actually encountered a person who was the worse ever!

She began with trying to insist her appointment be, "now!"

I insisted I was in the middle of a project and had schedule this time to continue for another hour.

She insisted, "well, what if I too, am working on an equally important project?"

Me: thinking... .is this gal for real?  "Well, then we would also have to work around that as well." "So, let's come up with a time, given the circumstances."

Her: "Well, you are talking to me now!  You should be available.  What are you doing now?"

Me: this must be a joke... .no one is this rude? "Right now, I stopped what I was doing to discuss scheduling with you, then I will resume my scheduled project work."

Her: "ok, I will rearrange all of my appointments to accommodate seeing you in an hour"

Me: she seriously just made that up... .her calendar was clear... .holy cow... .weird!  

Ok... .so condensed... .

I arrived... . My job is to assess, discuss, make a recommendation.  Her role is to listen to recommendations, participate in the process, work to implement my plan.  Then I work out kinks with her.

Well... .

I arrived and she had told me the plan

She told me to get started implementing it

That I wasn't moving fast enough and it had to be done now!

She started blaming and accusing me of not listening... .as she cut me off trying to redefine the process, our roles, expectations... etc.

(Umm... .ok... .so she thinks she can verbally/emotionally abuse me?)

I literally told her that I could not work with her, that I am leaving, I hope to be able to find someone that can help her, as I cannot.

She looked at me in disbelief, let me know that she would be making a complaint. (Threat)

I told her... .Ok, that would be fine. I do hope to find someone who is able to help you... .bye.

I have never walked out on a client ever!

I let two people in the company know what occurred... .

The first apologized for putting me in that position. (Kind but not his fault)

But then also said fortunately there was not long left to the work with her.

To which I kindly pointed out that "it is MY policy" that I do not work with any client that deals with me in a threatening manner... .even if the threat is not to me physically or otherwise... .but to my job.  I explained that I had resigned from her work specifically and my report regarding what occurred will be in with the company in a timely manner.  (So whoever doesn't have much time to work with her... .that person still is not me... .I am clearly done with her... .no mistake here)

The second person I told said... .

"But didn't it feel great?  I wish that I had resigned from a couple of clients that I should have that were abusive!  I will from now on, we all should, go you!" |iiii

Awesome.  :)  It's good to read a sucess story like this.

I think that's the great benefit from being here. 28% of the population suffers from clinical level mental illnesses. That doesn't take into account sub-clinical, or plain High Conflct Personalities. It's beneficial to learn the tools: enforcing boundaries, SET, DEARMAN, or just learning to stand up for ourselves rather than existing as needs for others.

Very cool Sun, that must have felt great.  I put up with challenging egos in my work, and it's usually OK because I can see the insecurity and/or the anxiety under it, and after all I'm there for the cash anyway, so go ahead and bark hothead, I make triple what you do anyway, but there's a line, and when someone crosses it and makes it personal, we're done, forever.  Firing a client is a little new for me, and for you too it seems, and doesn't it feel great?  Standing up for ourselves, and I'll credit my ex for that, and my being a doormat in the name of relationship peace with her, to finally push me over the edge.  And turns out sometimes it's easier to demand respect than expect it, too often really, and turns out it's not that hard with a little practice.  Good you got support from coworkers too.  Enjoy!

Thank you guys for your support!

I had to write several reports regarding it.  In txt though, I communicated to a newer person on the team that I was quite sorry, I have never walked out prior to this, and I actually have a reputation for being great at handling most difficult personalities at work,(they intentionally send me them, and I love that) so please understand this was not a typical situation. (I believe the client actually had ASPD... .a clear user of pple at all expense... .I saw her dynamic with others as well... .not just a bad day)

Well... .after reading a written report I sent off... .of me requesting this client get reassigned... the co owner of the company said to the new guy: "We have known SF a long time.  She has never been know to have encountered such a situation with a client.  Please do not reassign this client and instead, visit the client, reassess the situation, inform her we cannot help her."  Something like that.  She pretty much was saying that if there is a conflict... .it is client issue not SF issue, if SF can't handle it, heck no one can! don't put us as a co at risk!  My reputation supports my actions!  I'm so proud they see me that way!  I didn't even get a follow up investigation call as is typically protocol!  As they just took my word for it all! 

Thanks all!  I will be a bit more fearless! I am so grateful for you guys!

Thank you Turkish... .I peruse around here trying to learn the lessons, mostly seen in action on the staying board.  Thanks for allowing me to politely hang around different areas to learn!

Fromheeltoheal, I actually DO deal with so many difficult pple.  You can kinda say that it is my specialty.  Pple give me the difficult clients on purpose as they know I work well with the ones no one else can.  But this lady was waaaaaay out there.  She only wanted to behave abusively and not listen to a single thing. (She told me to move furniture that was unstable and broken, likely would break more and hurt me and her in the process... .I'm not supposed to move things anyway) I think the others who did work with her just meekly followed her orders and charged for that.  But our job is not to perform tasks for the clients... .it is to teach her to use our system... .I'm sure those who "worked" with her were just pretending to do the job... .the situation was a big liability issue for all in so many ways... .so they made the right decision! :).

You sound tough and centered Sun.  I'm not especially, my skin is thickening slowly, and I can tell someone to fck off in a burst of fury, but there are more nuanced ways of handling things, and sounds like you're good at it.  Fortunately I'm in a business where there's so much work there's no reason to put up with too much crap from someone, just walk away, but yours sounds different, and it's cool how they send you the tough ones because you can handle it.

Hi Sunfl0wer,

Nicely done!  |iiii  I have found many of the skills learned here have translated into other aspects of my life too.

Keep up the good work  :)

Panda39

For the men out there, The Mankind Project initiation (48 hours) helped me to finally make good boundaries, healthy boundaries in my life. My exBPDgf just waltzed over all appropriate boundaries in our personal and business life shortly after she moved in. I told her - no way. If that's the way you behave, there's the door. She FREAKED, and punished me for making healthy boundaries with her. All her BPD traits poured out, and she fired all possible ammo. I stood fast. Emotionally devastating, but proud that I could make that boundary! Woman Within is the partner organization to Mankind Project. Highly recommended. Good luck all, cj

This is truly awesome.  Congrats to you on enforcing your boundary and kudos to your owner for ensuring nobody in the company undermined your decision.