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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: Hadlee on July 02, 2015, 07:04:37 AM



Title: Strange emails. Spam or possibly something else?
Post by: Hadlee on July 02, 2015, 07:04:37 AM
I've recently received a couple of strange emails.  They are completely blank with no information as to who the sender is or who it is intended for, no subject line and nothing in the body of the email.  I have never had any emails like it before in my life lol

So... .following on from the recent friend request from a fake Facebook profile (all signs point the the exBPD friend being behind it), I am a little suspicious.  It could very well be spam - I just find the timing of this a little odd.

Has anyone else received such emails?


Title: Re: Strange emails. Spam or possibly something else?
Post by: UserName69 on July 03, 2015, 02:06:24 AM
Could be a misconfiguration in a spambot. Don't be paranoid.


Title: Re: Strange emails. Spam or possibly something else?
Post by: BorisAcusio on July 03, 2015, 04:48:56 AM
(all signs point the the exBPD friend being behind it),

What signs? From the information you presented, I don't see anything that would point to her.

Most of the time, we are the ones who long for them long after they've gone. In fact, they are pretty much uncapable of that, because of their lack of object constancy(out of sight, out of mind).


Title: Re: Strange emails. Spam or possibly something else?
Post by: Beach_Babe on July 03, 2015, 07:06:44 AM
Never say never. Lol

How do you feel about it?


Title: Re: Strange emails. Spam or possibly something else?
Post by: Hadlee on July 03, 2015, 07:17:41 AM
Never say never. Lol

How do you feel about it?

Never say never is right :)

Yeah I'm fine about it, Beach.  I would probably put it more down to it being a spam thing than something from the pwBPD.  Was curious to see if anyone else had experienced it too lol

How are you going?  Hope you are doing well


Title: Re: Strange emails. Spam or possibly something else?
Post by: Beach_Babe on July 03, 2015, 07:24:10 AM
My uBPD mom does stuff like that all the time. It's very effective way to reel people back in; I've seen it. Then when they respond and ask what's up (because you know, she's been mia for years) she strikes while the iron is hot. Could also be spam too, dunno. Lol


Title: Re: Strange emails. Spam or possibly something else?
Post by: Suzn on July 03, 2015, 07:54:26 AM
Mark it as spam so any future attempts go straight to trash. Unseen, these have no effect on you.

It can be re-traumatizing to ourselves concluding all coincidences in life are suspect. Takes up a lot of our energy.

Once I started focusing my energy on myself these coincidences seemed to disappear.

My exBPDgf use to drive by my house a lot after we broke up. I saw her numerous times, it was unnerving at the time (my problem) and I would watch for her to do this. Any time I heard tires squealing I'd run to the window to see if it was her. There were instances after we b/u that we did speak where she admitted to me she did this. I would attempt to control what she was doing by telling her to stop. She told me "I talked with my T about this and we agreed, me doing this was for me."

I wanted her to stop. (My problem) I wanted to control anything that made me uncomfortable.

Today? I have let go of trying to control things outside of my control. I worked to become comfortable with the uncomfortable.

If she wants to drive by my house (for her) and she isn't coming onto my property and causing harm... .it's her wasted gas... it's her wasted time. I have things to do and I don't "look" for her anymore. Today it's not even a passing thought that hearing squealing tires nearby could be her. I have let go, live and let live.





Title: Re: Strange emails. Spam or possibly something else?
Post by: Hadlee on July 03, 2015, 08:07:47 AM
My uBPD mom does stuff like that all the time. It's very effective way to reel people back in; I've seen it. Then when they respond and ask what's up (because you know, she's been mia for years) she strikes while the iron is hot. Could also be spam too, dunno. Lol

It doesn't surprise me now after things I've experienced lol


Title: Re: Strange emails. Spam or possibly something else?
Post by: Hadlee on July 03, 2015, 08:12:14 AM
Suzn - thanks for your comment.  It makes complete sense.

Excerpt
Today? I have let go of trying to control things outside of my control. I worked to become comfortable with the uncomfortable.

I definitely need to work on accepting not trying to control things that are out of my control.  That's a valuable lesson, and I'll put some time in to work on that.  Thankyou  



Title: Re: Strange emails. Spam or possibly something else?
Post by: Pretty Woman on July 03, 2015, 08:20:18 AM
Mine sent me an email with a ?  It was an email from a year prior... .same date

I figured she was fishing but I stupidly answered. She told me her email did a strange "dump" and she re engaged me.

They do weird things.


Title: Re: Strange emails. Spam or possibly something else?
Post by: Hadlee on July 03, 2015, 08:31:20 AM
Mine sent me an email with a ?  It was an email from a year prior... .same date

I figured she was fishing but I stupidly answered. She told me her email did a strange "dump" and she re engaged me.

They do weird things.

Wow... .strange "dump"!  That is weird.  Any excuse for them to re-engage, I guess.  It's pretty sad when you think about it.       


Title: Re: Strange emails. Spam or possibly something else?
Post by: Suzn on July 03, 2015, 08:33:51 AM
They do weird things.

Any time I heard tires squealing I'd run to the window to see if it was her.

I did weird things. Why are these coincidences so uncomfortable for us? Why do we try to control being uncomfortable? When/where in our lifetime did we pick up the need to control since we are feeling uncomfortable?


Title: Re: Strange emails. Spam or possibly something else?
Post by: Hadlee on July 03, 2015, 08:40:58 AM
(all signs point the the exBPD friend being behind it),

What signs? From the information you presented, I don't see anything that would point to her.

Most of the time, we are the ones who long for them long after they've gone. In fact, they are pretty much uncapable of that, because of their lack of object constancy(out of sight, out of mind).

Thanks Boris.

No, I haven't gone into detail regarding the signs on the Facebook profiles.  There's probably no need to go into the specifics on here, in any case.  It is what it is.

I understand what you are saying, although I don't believe I am longing for her in this instance - she has actually also made direct contact with me in the last couple of weeks, and we do still work for the same company.  

If anything, I am probably the one longing for out of sight, out of mind :)