BPDFamily.com

Hey there all hope your all well,

I've been in a long distance relationship with someone who has BPD for just over the last year (I'm in the UK and she's in Alabama)

At first everything was great, we were managing things quite well, organizing visits to see each other, making plans to close the distance in a couple of years for me to move over there with her. I mean ok she has cut herself in front of me and threatened suicide but I've always managed to pull her through even when she had a major meltdown on Sunday and tried to delete me and several of her closest friends but then I helped her to repair those bridges.

But lately for at least the last couple of months things have been so different and she's been very emotionally distant with me over Skype and there have been periods of long silence when we used to be able to just and she's even giving me the impression that she's not really that bothered about me going over there in November and everytime I bring it up she doesn't really seem to want to come over and see me next year and just says we'll see and in general doesn't seem as enthusiastic about the relationship which just drags me down and I'm starting to feel she uses my Aspergers and loyalty to keep me in the relationship because everytime I've asked her questions like is she still happy with me? and does she still want to be with me? to which she always turns back on me and asks me those questions herself.

She has said she's gonna start going to a counselor again soon and start trying to get better as she has recognized in herself that something's not quite right so I am hoping that things will get better from here for us as well

If you guys could give me any help/tips that would be great

Welcome to bpdfamily Macleod645,

I'm glad you found us.   This is a great site to help support anyone who has a high conflict person in their life.   

On the right hand side of the screen is a link that says What does it take be in a relationship with a borderline.   Go there and click on that link.

It's good to have hope that things can get better.   It's good news that she is going to start seeing a counselor again soon.     Those are positive things.   Coming here and reading and posting can help support you.  It sounds as if you have experienced some difficult things in your relationship.   Cutting and suicide threats are difficult to deal with.   There are workshops and postings here that talk about those behaviors specifically.

Keep coming back and tell us how you are doing.

'ducks