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I am trying to understand the meaning of this term... .And how it is manifested in pwBPD.

How do each of you experience this in your partner?

Thanks.

Hi Butterfly-

I'm not sure of the history of the term, but I recognize it in my upbdh as a loss of control and extreme behaviors. In his case, it's raging and volatile anger that includes screaming and yelling, hurling terrible insults, shouting "under his breath", and rewriting history. In the past, his dysregulations have sometimes been followed by a day (or days) of the silent treatment.

Fortunately, these are fewer and farther between in the last 6-8 months. He also seems to move past them much quicker than before.

Hope that helps!

Hi Butterfly12,

Emotional dysregulation is the inability to control or regulate emotions and emotional cues under normal conditions. When emotional regulation becomes pervasive, it is shown as the inability to regulate emotions across situational contexts and problems with adaptation. Pervasive emotional dysregulation is due to what Linehan (2015) calls "high emotional vulnerability." High emotional vulnerability is defined as very high negative affect (negative emotions, such as anger) at baseline, hypersensitivity to emotional stimuli, intense response to emotional stimuli, and a very slow return to baseline.  Furthermore, Linehan (2015, p. 6) describes the characteristics of emotional dysregulation as an "excess of painful emotional experiences, cognitive distortions, problems turning attention away from emotional cues, insufficient control of impulsive behaviors related to negative/positive affect, and a tendency to 'freeze' or dissociate under stress." Emotional dysregulation can also be a way of over controlling emotions and suppression.

Having a lack of emotional regulation leads to maladaptive coping mechanisms and the inability to self-soothe. Emotional dysregulation has an impact on developing and maintaining a sense of self. Emotional consistency and predictability are related to garnering a stable sense of self. Having a lack of emotional regulation has a profound effect on interpersonal relationships, due the stable sense of self and the ability to self-regulate emotions. 

According to Biosocial theory (Linehan, 2015), the risk factors for emotional dysregulation stems from characteristics/temperament  of the child (high emotional sensitivity, inherited impulse control deficits, and high negative affectivity) along  with biological vulnerabilities (genetic influences, abnormalities of the brain systems, fronto-limbic dysfunctions), ultimately interacting with an invalidating social environment with a caretaker who contributes to invalidating the child's emotions, inadequate coaching of the child's emotions, and ineffective parenting.

When emotional dysregulation is repeated over time, maladaptive behaviors then become reinforced.

How a pwBPD copes with dysregulation varies by their own individual characteristics and traits. From my experience, my pwBPD tends to over control his emotions, shuts down engages in avoidance behavior when he is dysregulating. He will completely shut everyone out. Usually when he is dysregulating, he feels hopeless, intense self-loathing, shame, sadness, and anger. When I did not understand his behavior, I used to think that he was indifferent towards me and I did something wrong to make him act this way. When he needs space, I give it to him and let him know that I am there for him.

Thanks for the question and answers. This is super helpful.

so helpful. Thank you so much.

My husband doesn't really do the raging. He has had a few isolated rages. Most of the time, it is more like pouting like a child and doing the sighs and things like that. And, he will check out and play his computer games. He is very childlike.