|
Title: How best to answer my BPDhusb when he asks what my T and I talk about? Post by: SurfNTurf on July 12, 2015, 05:26:46 PM Hello,
This is a new one. My uBPDh and I got into fight (really? ) and I mentioned how I have done my part by getting T. First off, he seemed like it was the first he heard of it, then he wanted to know what we talk about. I dont want to get intothat with him, it will only become ammo for him. He had to go to work, so that saved me at the moment but does anyone have any suggestions for a non-answer? Being a non, Im not skilled at giving non-answers or shifting focus... Thank you! Title: Re: How best to answer my BPDhusb when he asks what my T and I talk about? Post by: Sunfl0wer on July 12, 2015, 06:04:07 PM Hello, This is a new one. My uBPDh and I got into fight (really? ) and I mentioned how I have done my part by getting T. First off, he seemed like it was the first he heard of it, then he wanted to know what we talk about. I dont want to get intothat with him, it will only become ammo for him. He had to go to work, so that saved me at the moment but does anyone have any suggestions for a non-answer? Being a non, Im not skilled at giving non-answers or shifting focus... Thank you! Typically my BF was just worried we would talk about him, judge him and such. So stating... We talk about me, my feelings and thoughts on things. He helps me sort out some feelings. Lol... .my BF stopped and did not want to know anymore about my "feelings" and didn't ask much after that. edit: a couple of times he prodded a bit... .I actually gave an example of a work conflict I was trying to resolve and how I analyzed that... .I picked the one 3 min topic T and I had and drew it out to a loong boring explanation to BF to get him off my tail. Then explained how helpful T was in helping me sort that out. I think he figured my T saved him from discussing some boring stuff with him... .lol! Title: Re: How best to answer my BPDhusb when he asks what my T and I talk about? Post by: SurfNTurf on July 12, 2015, 06:17:31 PM Thank you, Sunflower, thats a good idea!
Title: Re: How best to answer my BPDhusb when he asks what my T and I talk about? Post by: Surg_Bear on July 12, 2015, 06:50:07 PM Hello, This is a new one. My uBPDh and I got into fight (really? ) and I mentioned how I have done my part by getting T. First off, he seemed like it was the first he heard of it, then he wanted to know what we talk about. I dont want to get intothat with him, it will only become ammo for him. He had to go to work, so that saved me at the moment but does anyone have any suggestions for a non-answer? Being a non, Im not skilled at giving non-answers or shifting focus... Thank you! My wife is a therapist herself. She is in core-focused deep, transference type therapy with a psychoanalyst. She loves him. Dysregulation in my house reflects her therapist's vacation schedule. I get pummeled when he is about to leave, the whole time he is gone, and the time it takes for her to be done being mad at him for leaving her. It is clear that she is emotionally dependent on him. Yet, she NEVER shares any of that with me. She doesn't speak to me about any of her patients because she feels I don't truly understand patient confidentiality, or something. I am a surgeon. I have been a doctor for going on 20 years. I understand confidentiality. However, when it comes to my therapy, she seems to think that she deserves to know every single minute of my therapy. Work struggles are my default - she must think I am not emotionally adjusted to being a physician at all because it's all I talk about with my psychiatrist. I rarely discuss anything about my therapy with her. It is none of her business and she knows this. Doesn't stop her from trying. She is certain I am painting her black and using the forbidden word with him. She told me I was never to use the word "borderline" to describe her at all. Even with my psychiatrist, since he is one of her "colleagues." In her mind, I am judging her, and plotting to leave. It is maddening that she feels justified in censoring my therapy, but will not divulge a word about hers, or the work she does with her patients. Surg_Bear |