BPDFamily.com

Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: JRav59 on July 13, 2015, 01:44:29 PM



Title: Empaths and BPD
Post by: JRav59 on July 13, 2015, 01:44:29 PM
I have been no contact with my ex for almost a year now and something really odd keeps happening as of recently. Here's a quick back story:

My therapist and several friends have mentioned me being an empath. I get very sucked into people's energies, etc. I have often found myself understanding others perspectives to the point where I take them on as my own. With some time and distance, to be honest, just understanding this trait has been incredibly useful and I've created emotional boundaries.

I have moved on, have a wonderful boyfriend. We keep our space and have made a real point to not get too intertwined with one another. This is mostly because I want to make sure I maintain some boundaries for the time being. It's been about 4 months and I am really in love.

About a month  ago I got this very heavy feeling in my gut. I felt off, anxiety ridden and just this awful feeling overcame me. I was incredibly sad. I had no idea why. A day or two later, I discovered via FB that my BPD-ex was in town for her sister's wedding. I am still friends with her sister, so the pics were bound to pop up on my feed.

I have not thought about my ex for some time. I really am enjoying my life. Some times I get this wretched feeling. I know it's not really mine though. Having strange connections to a soul you wish you had never been intertwined with. I know shes about to start transitioning back to the states from her job. I also know she is going to try and glom onto ANYONE she can. I can feel it. Has anyone else had this? Getting sucked into energies/ cords that you really thought were gone?   Has anyone really, truly rid themselves of this terrible feeling?  


Title: Re: Empaths and BPD
Post by: Circle on July 14, 2015, 01:59:12 AM
I'm a little bit sensitive, yet not to that degree. I would change your facebook settings for both your ex and her sister, so that you don't see her posts in your news feed. Just look it up on the help menu if you don't already know how to do that; it's very simple.

As you said in your post, you are more aware of your sensitivity now. And, this has helped you create better boundaries. Why not decide to stay out of touch with this person, if she is such a drain on you? Come up with a game plan, if that's really what you want. After all, you sound like the whole situation is disturbing you. If you aren't clear on whether or not you want to have contact with her, you need to sit down, think and figure that out. It's only from a clear, decisive state of mind that you are going to know what to do. Make your decision as to whether or not you want to see her. If you don't want to see her, then decide the things you can do to avoid the situation in the first place. Also, decide what to do if you encounter her regardless.



Title: Re: Empaths and BPD
Post by: enlighten me on July 14, 2015, 05:25:27 AM
I also used to get an odd feeling something was up and then within a couple of hours my ex would post something on fb. What she posted felt directed at me. Selfies, pictures of our son etc. I occassionally still get this. Im not one for the supernatural or spiritual but I have to admit it frwaked me out a bit. It also freaked my colleagues out when I would predict things and within an hour it would happen.


Title: Re: Empaths and BPD
Post by: JRav59 on July 14, 2015, 01:10:26 PM
I have had no contact with my ex (blocked on FB, etc.). Her sister and I have not really talked in months. To be honest, that was totally a fluke. However, since then I keep getting strange feelings. Like something tumultuous is happening. It's a sad sinking, anxiety ridden feeling. Something that I have no reason to be feeling (my life is going really well) and I just  keep having to shake it. I spend time visualizing cutting those cords. We were so intertwined it was REALLY not healthy. I don't know, I probably just sound crazy now.


Title: Re: Empaths and BPD
Post by: Circle on July 14, 2015, 10:42:23 PM
You sound maybe a bit scared? I'm not sure. Or, perhaps you are anticipating an interaction. Maybe you want to see her? I don't think it's going to good to visualize cutting the cords, until you get to the bottom of your own motivations/wishes/intent.