BPDFamily.com

I'm just chock full of posts today, so sorry in advance admins.

Even though I've come to realize that it's not my fault the way things happened/ended, but I was no saint during the relationship either. NPD (my dad's side) and BPD (my mom's side) traits rubbed off on me throughout my childhood and even during my relationship with my ex.

At first, I was the good guy but after 2 months of being with my ex I started noticing her lack of empathy, poor decision making etc. There were times where I would break up with her and then suicide threats would follow, so I stayed because I didn't want to feel responsible/guilty for someone's death. Things changed for the worse after I got jumped by some thugs in 2011.

Her response to me getting jumped was so monotone. It was somewhere around the lines of, "Oh, wow. Sorry, that happened to you" with no real emotion behind it. My family members were freaking out and asking me if I was okay, but she, for somebody who "couldn't live without me," barely showed any sympathy and showed no empathy. After that it's like something just switched in my head. I took after my father and just went full blown Narcissist at times. At first, it was her starting trivial arguments, but then I started doing it as well. She may have emotionally abused me via gas lighting, lying, manipulation and lack of empathy but I verbally abused her out of anger and some times just 'cause. I'm not proud of my actions. I've learned to forgive her for my sake and I've learned to forgive myself.

I saw this one comment that perfectly fit my ex's and I's relationship like a glove, "In the beginning they mirror us, and it is wonderful. In the end we mirror them, and it is horrid."

That is a treasure.

I read something similar (I think in SWOE); We try to change the pwBPD and in the end find that they haven't changed at all, but we sure have.