BPDFamily.com

here goes let me open up.

my parents split when i was five. when i was seven my mum meet an abusive wife beater and had four children with him. i am the oldest of eight boys. three with my mum and dad then my dad had two more and my mum had three more.

he started of beating my mum i was seven and i tried to step in and he pushed a table into my face and beat my mum.

the abuse continued for years. he got 18 months for stabbing her then she took him back and had the kids. he was also charged with beating me with a dog chain but the charges were dropped.

he would use me as a human punchbag for fighting practice and abuse me and humiliate me.

when i was fifteen it turned sexual and i reported him and i was placed in care.

i never got any therapy!

i was bullied and had no friends in early school. i was a loner and mistreated.

i had dyslexic and considered thick by my peers due to my reading and writing issues. however i excelled in maths and for for the top spot with another guy.

i am the oldest child and it was my role to protect the others taking the majority of the abuse.

when i got into highschool there was a two band system and because of my english grades i was placed in the bottom band after four of five years in high school i too a mock CSE maths paper a year early i got 127/150 on paper 1 non calculator and 150/150 on paper two with calculator.

i was starting to excell. they abolished the band system the next year. and i learned o level maths in one year with 50% attendance. this was when the worst abuse was happening and i had severe depression diagnosed and untreated.

i did one year sixth got my self sorted and went on to college where i meet the love of my life she was 15 and i was 18

i immediately turned her life around. and it was wonderful.

after college i went to uni in Scotland a long distance relationship was hard but we managed.

whilst in my third year i had a breakdown with PTSD and got therapy.

10 weeks

i finished university and i am an international design consultant

i am at the top of my game.

i was working away 80 hrs a week for two years and that is when the trouble started.

time to fix it

 

You certainly have your work cut out dealing with your own stuff as well as hers.

working out what is acceptable and works for you both is probably a better approach rather than trying to work out what is 'normal" as neither of you have probably experienced normal as a benchmark

yes you are right

i just love her with all my heart always have always will

tried moving on it didn't work

You certainly have overcome a lot! Good for you Married21years!

Also having PTSD myself, I sometimes I have felt a bit of a freak for the experiences I have been through.  So I appreciate you sharing yours so candidly, it makes me feel less odd knowing I'm not alone.

I was wondering though, if you don't mind... .

How did you meet a 15 year old in college?

i was in college she was in school 

a friend set us up

Yes, you are amazing!  You are strong, you are resilient, you are committed, and you are worth of any and all effort to care for yourself and become the best you possible.

|iiii

lbj

thx everyone