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Title: No promotion Post by: Herodias on July 16, 2015, 09:09:20 PM I just heard from my stbx that he didn't get on the list to receive a promotion for the first time since we have been together 9 years! I hope he realizes that all of his womanizing at work, lying and alcoholism is catching up with him now. He even made a comment that married men get promoted faster than single men. We are separated. I just told him I was sorry and I was proud of him for what he has accomplished up until now but it was up to him to get on the right path for him to succeed in the future. I know how devastated he really is by this and expect him to go home and get really drunk. It's hard to be supportive when he had a gf and not even sure he will tell her. I know how he gets - she doesn't. I know I have to let him go to deal with this without me, since he had chosen to go that way. Hope this is a lesson learned, he said he has to learn to fail to succeed... , not sure where he got that from.
Title: Re: No promotion Post by: Turkish on July 16, 2015, 10:29:29 PM Do you feel resentful that he reached out to you for emotional support? 1.5 years after my Ex left, mine has started reaching out in late night texts (her anxieties regarding the kids). This was after it took me the better part of a year of asserting boundaries (which we alone control) for it to die down. Recent events have re-triggered her anxieties, and I'm falling into the dynamic of soothing. OM/her new husband doesn't always help. I know her better, and she knows what she can get from me. Still, I've passed on a few things I've learned here.
I got a simple text last night. I knew what triggered it based upon a previous text convo 4 hours previously... .I asked, "do you feel anxious?" She responded by saying that she was and she didn't like to see the kids hurt, but that she knew I wasn't responsible for her feelings. :thought: |iiii (D3 had an unexplained cut/tear on a finger. It only required a bandaid, but I sent her a pic to document so I didn't get queried the following day. That triggered her.) I'd take what he said at the end as a positive sign. I validate the positive whenever my gut tells me it will help. |