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Title: BPD hpd npd need advice Post by: cheaptrick on July 17, 2015, 04:59:12 PM Long story short, she has all the traits especially NPD and HPD. She purposely disrupted a memorial event for a lost friend who passed, and started flirting with me in front of my ex for no reason. My ex was there because she knew the family well. It was a musical event and she came with two other friends. She would not stop trying to antagonize my ex and flirt with me although she hasn't flirted with me in months. I told her she was behaving inappropriately amd needed to stop. She then forced the other two to leave with her and she Unfriend ed me and I have not heard back in 3 weeks. I decided that no excuse to try to start something during an event that should have been focused on my late friend and family. She even started and argument with me two hours after my mother's funeral, so the issue is that she lacks social awarness and has issues retaining friends and relationships. Always must be the center of attention and will literally cut tou off mid sentence in every discussion in order to all about herself. She went on 23 different match.com dates last year and not a single man was good enough for her. So my question is. I feel the need to write her a letter explaining that her behavior was inappropriate and that she should not have behaved that way and if she doesn't want to be friends, then so be it. Others say simply to go to NO CONTACT, and let her go away. I feel she owes me an apology but I don't see that coming because she lacks empathy and doesn't seem to get the general social freak she is. I am thinking that I don't need her in my life. What would you do?
Title: Re: BPD hpd npd need advice Post by: once removed on July 17, 2015, 11:19:16 PM hey cheaptrick
"So my question is. I feel the need to write her a letter explaining that her behavior was inappropriate and that she should not have behaved that way and if she doesn't want to be friends, then so be it. Others say simply to go to NO CONTACT, and let her go away. I feel she owes me an apology but I don't see that coming because she lacks empathy and doesn't seem to get the general social freak she is. I am thinking that I don't need her in my life. What would you do?" there are no hard and fast rules with this. its all a very personal choice. no contact is for some people, in some situations, some of the time. its also worth noting we are all coming from very different places, as are our partners, so this is more about what you want to do than what i would do. you express you dont need her in your life, and that her behavior doesnt seem to be something you can tolerate. my advice would be trust yourself in that regard, but it does not make your decision. as for the letter? i think youve tried that road. you had enough inappropriate behavior at a memorial event, a very painful time for you; you expressed that, she didnt hear you, and her response was to cut you off. its highly unlikely that a letter elaborating on her inappropriate behavior will do any good for either one of you, let alone be heard as intended. |