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Title: Big argument Post by: EightySix on July 17, 2015, 06:54:43 PM Diagnosed BPD husband walked out. Then returned and gave me all his stuff from his pockets including his phone and glasses and said he wasn't going to need them anymore.
He took his bottle of percocet and left. I didn't chase him. Not the first time he left and not the second time. I did try to talk tonhim both times but he just kept walking. This of course was not his first time threatening suicide. We've been together for 12 yrs and he's never done it once. Nor has he even attempted. And he's told me he'd never do it on several.occasions. I was slightly scared. But mostly I figured he'd come back. I thought I'll wait an hour or two and if he was still gone I'd call the cops. I was about 90% sure it was all dramatics. He finally returned about an hr later. He went threw his whole list of tricks and I stayed calm and collected... .Well mostly... .He even commented several times on how calm I was and called me a sociopath. Its not normally my reaction to his threats. I usually fall for it all and beg and plead and cry with him. This time I did not. I think I made my position very clear. If he doesn't follow through with DBT I'm done. At least I hope so. Part of me right now feels like I'm only waiting for his dbt to end so that in know he won't actually kill himself when I do leave. I feel like I handled it all well. But now I feel stuck I have to wait through another year. I don't know if I can Title: Re: Big argument Post by: Bpdwifelife on July 17, 2015, 09:00:18 PM Hugs I feel your pain.
Title: Re: Big argument Post by: once removed on July 17, 2015, 11:12:32 PM hey eightysix
yikes. being labeled a sociopath by someone you love when youve been working on yourself, and trying to remain calm and collected. i dont think thats anyones idea of a good time. it may help to understand that for a pwBPD (any person really) can be confused when we change for the better. they may test us to get reactions that theyre used to us giving in the past. progress in and of itself can trigger the fear of abandonment. thats hardly to suggest youre doing something wrong with this change, on the contrary. its just that it can sometimes get worse before it gets better. you mention hes in therapy, and while there is a lot of hope in long term treatment, its frightening for a person to confront their issues, and that can exacerbate the "it gets worse before it gets better" dynamic. i think youre showing tremendous strength. have you had an opportunity to look through the links directly to the right on choosing a path? i understand you are considering leaving, but these links will really help hone your path both in the present and the future. |