BPDFamily.com

We talk a lot about how pwBPD are emotionally about 3-4 years old.  However, they are often much older intellectually and are able to graduate from college and get a job (though maybe not keep it for very long).  While going over my friendship and brief relationship with my exBPD, I also noticed that many of her interests were also very childish. 

I have nothing against retaining some interests from your childhood, and I admit to having some childish interests myself, like going to the zoo, but these interests are balanced with other interests and activities, such as running, hiking, photography, going to museums, buying a house, and getting my Master's degree.  My exBPD actually seemed more content when she was doing childish things, as if those were the things she really wanted to do, all the time. 

Here are some examples:

-Obsessed with Pokemon and would sit and draw the different ones; actually sat and played a Pokemon game right after we had sex and then explained the game to me using her childish voice

-Sleeps with two stuffed cows

-Told me that, as an adult, she once owned a pair of footie pajamas

-Likes to draw and color (is actually a talented artist); spent most of her time in the psych ward coloring; sat and drew/colored all day when she was teaching an art class; mostly drew things like Pokemon characters and unicorns

-Would talk about how she never wants children of her own but always said that she got along really well with the kids she babysat because they would just sit and watch cartoons

-While babysitting once, texted me and told me to watch some kids' movie that she was watching

BPD is such a strange collection of contrasts.  There were times when she would talk to me and sound even older than me (I'm 7 years older than her), even when we were talking about relationship things, and there were times when she actually treated me like a child.  She is also extremely intelligent and can discuss philosophy for hours, likes reading books from a variety of genres, is a talented writer, and has great ideas for lesson plans and assessments.  But then, of course, she would also sit and cuddle with me in bed, not like a lover does, but like a small child does, she had a very ":)isney movie view" of marriage, and seemed as upset as our teenage students when Zayn left One Direction.

Did your exBPD have childish interests?  If so, what were they, and how often were they present in the person's life? 

Yes mine had and still has a very keen interest in everything loom bands,sitting there for hours making all sorts of characters,also the colouring in colouring books was something else she enjoyed doing.Spoke to me in a child like voice on many occasions usually when she wanted something from me.One thing that really stood out for me was her insistence that on the day of our wedding she would be wearing jeans and was adamant she would never wear a traditional wedding dress.Funny how at the time none of this seemed to stand out,now it just smacks me in the face since she split with me lol

Mine was obsessed with Marvel superheros and comic book art. 

No really although he certainly acted more like my 6 year old than like a 26 year old. He did really like playing with her and was usually pretty creative at finding stuff for the 2 of them to do together. Otherwise, not really.

He races dirt bikes though when most guys his age only ride for recreation due to age and ability. He won't hang up the race boots even though it's really time.

My exBPDgf had zero childish interests that I knew of. Her interests were cooking/nutrition, yoga, reading, movies, and crocheting (I've never met another 21 year old that does this). She also smokes which is a bizarre contrast to her being health conscious. I believe she's drinking a lot more now too post break up.

She's a high functioning invisible BPD that puts on a facade to those not close to her but in our relationship it was textbook childish BPD behavior.

I would have enjoyed some childlike qualities like that. Sadly, my xwife only two genuine interests are watching tv and getting male attention. Once a tv show is over her interest is gone.

 :thought:
Well thats childish too no?

Mine lost interest after licking the ice cream plate clean.

Wow, yes!  Mine is 22 years old.

Whenever she would play with our cat she would talk like a baby to it & don't even get me started if I took her to the zoo or something like it that had lions or tigers or cats, she would talk in a baby voice and be over excited the entire time.

  She is obsessed with classic Disney cartoon movies. She got me to watch some they aren't all that bad reliving childhood  :)

  At the end of a walk at a park she wanted to go into the water park for babies & small children and it was actually pretty fun but a little awkward.

  Twice at a park she demanded I play on the playground and go on the slides with her. The 2nd time there was a ton of people around and me being 6 foot 7 it was just too embarrassing and I couldn't do it  lol  she immediately had a full blown BPD melt down after and shamed me for not doing it for the entire day saying she wanted a different man that could live life with her.

 

Mine also liked cooking and reading.  She does put on a facade, so I doubt most people see her childish behavior.  Mine actually bought a Pokemon bikini and sent me a picture of her wearing it.  I think that basically defines BPD: "Let me try to seduce you, but I'm going to do it wearing something with cartoon characters on it."

Mine also smokes, but she doesn't eat red meat, and she would also eat veggie wraps and drink fruit and vegetable juices.  It boggled my mind.   

YES!

Oh em gee... Pokemon. Mine loved Pokemon too. And Lego and Care Bears and Comics.

And movies and books from her childhood. In fact she has a tattoo of a character from a childhood book. I remember sitting though several of her favourite childhood films with her.

And music. Including Brittney Spears, and Hannah Montana, and every other borderline singer, apparently.

Some hold on for dear life to those childhood symbols, I think because those things represent happiness from a time in their life that was probably otherwise not very pleasant. I feel like there is some 'identity' for them in those symbols in what is otherwise a complete vacuum for them.

This was all from a 40 year old woman who is a professional (high-functioning). She had adult hobbies and interests too, it's just that the childhood things were pretty excessive. More than most non-disorded people... .

Of course we all probably have some small reminders of things we liked from our childhood, but my exgfBPD's  'collections' of these things were not small reminders - they were everywhere through her house, she had t-shirts with those things, posters, coffee mugs and so on.

They possibly represent some form of comfort in a very childlike way, when things are not going so well (i.e. most of the time).

Mine was obsessed with Disneyland and all things Disney. She must have had her better memories there. At a time she was talking about us including Disneyland in our potential honeymoon. Comic T-shirts. Pajamas with cutesey things on them.

When she would get sad it was like a hurt sad child and there would be intense blame afterwards. Just writing this makes me remember how emotionally dysfunctional she was.

As a 90s kid, I have plenty of friends who absolutely love Pokemon (tattoos even) and Disney... .

Mine seemed to be stuck more in her early teens... .her only interests were her children and who she was dating at the time... .She had no clue what was going on in the world I'd be suprised if she knew who the president was LOL... .I dated more mature girls in high school and It often felt like a crazy high school relationship and were both in our mid 30s... .pretty sad!

Wow same. She had a kid but couldn't even be a parent. Just wanted to drink and watch anime shows.

Obsession with animals. Basically animals have taken the place of people in her life. She can't afford her current lifestyle and is about to be evicted from the property she is renting which means she has to find new homes for all the animals and livestock she owns. It's really really bizarre to be honest. I think her logic is that people will hurt her emotionally but animals will always love her.

Mine was pretty much the same... .her world was her son and me (at the time). She didn't own a TV, no newspaper, barely spent time on the internet.  There were times I felt she was living in a cave (information wise).

Mine had a collection of beanie babies, childish pajamas, would often call me to cuddle in a very childish voice, actually grabbed my arm once at the mall and said "ooh a plushy! buy me a plushyyyy!" in a very childish voice.

Hell, I found it charming. Coming from a guy who's 20 and has a small collection of My Little Pony memrobillia, including one laser-etched on my bass, among other seemingly childish things I like (Pokemon, anime, ALL Disney/Pixar/Dreamworks animated films and so on). I also am a singer/songwriter, in a band and have what you would call "grown up" hobbies.

Marvel superheroes

My little pony

Coloring

Batman pajamas

Stuffed animals galore

Indeed.  I still hang on to some of those interests, but they are balanced with other interests.  I think when it becomes a problem is when the person can't seem to handle adult things.  My exBPD has trouble remembering to file her taxes, getting her car inspected, sending her mom a Mother's Day card, paying rent on time, and keeping a job. But she has the time and money to buy video games and play them for hours.

Yes!  I teach high school students, and my exBPD was on her phone as much as, if not more than, them.  She actually got along really well with her students, probably because she's very much like them.

Yes, I also found it charming, at first.  She and I both love Harry Potter, so we had that in common.  And she did have some adult interests.  But after awhile, the kid stuff got annoying.  And I'm a very active person, so sitting inside, watching her play Pokemon, was boring as hell.

I thought of another thing that is very childish.  Her current living situation includes a 3 year old, and she would actually put her iced coffee in one of the kid's sippy cups and come to work with it.

Also, she was very scared of bugs. I know that lots of people are, but we're talking harmless bugs that were just hanging out on the ceiling, not even flying around. And when she asked me to kill them, it was with a very childlike voice.

Finally, when she asked me to take her to the zoo (we never went, thank God, as I'm sure it would have been a disaster), she said,  "Take me to the zoo!"  And she maintains the same pronunciations for animals that she had as a kid, saying "paingoon" instead of penguin. That got incredibly annoying, especially from someone with a college degree.

No matter how many times I visit this site, I always find something new. My ex was the SAME WAY. She hated all forms of media, especially the computer. I never could figure that out but I also could never figure her out either. Push and pull, push and pull... .

Yep, forgot about that one... .Spiders specifically. Over exaggerated acting out whenever she see's one even if it's a picture.

She clutched a pillow and freaked out once when she was in my room and saw a stink bug.  They don't even do anything!

Almost fell asleep on her one night and she kept me awake by shouting "NO SLEEPY" like a six year old.

Yeah... .

Also loved The Little Mermaid. Looking back on it, she does kinda remind me of Ariel.

Mine would constantly force me to talk about our cats with her and make up songs about the cats.

I made the mistake of making up a song about one of our cats one time and it became a daily thing. If I didn't make up a song about the cats I would be told I was "boring"

LOL Can you write down the lyrics to the cat song :)

There were so many songs about the cats! But the one she would have me sing all the time was "Spider Cat" Which essentially was the spider man song but... you know replaced with cat.

Wow! Now this is just getting creepy. Word for word same thing over here! We are onto something here  lol

She also used to like to scream randomly... .and then ask me questions like "What would you do if I said "I'M A TURTLE!" really loud?" and then I would just look at her and she would scream whatever it was she said...   There were other phrases, I just used that as an example.

I just always thought to myself... .You are the most beautiful woman on the planet and peoples jaws drop when they see you but... .you are weird as all hell!

I just always chalked it up to her being kinda weird.

Yeah, I also have my quirks, so I just thought she was an oddball like me.  I'm also a very reserved person, so I kind of admired her spirited behavior.

Oh yeah, for some reason she was terrified of ghosts. Like to the point if someone started talking about them she would have to leave the room.

Mine would take a day off from work and spend it building characters out of Legos.  Also, the Muppets.  He would ask for reassurance that I didn't find him childish.

My ex got absurdly into various book and tv series like harry potter, hunger games and the show supernatural to name a few.

To give my few cents on the matter, I don't really agree with this topic. I know a lot of "healthy" people who have numerous hobbies and passions that are listed here, so I don't think this kind of behavior is BPD exclusive, nor should it be connected to it. Having such interests can provide a lot of mental health in fact, since most of those are stress relievers and just an overall escape from reality and day to day problems. Just because we are grown up doesn't mean that our inner-child should die. I pity people who let this happen.

I agree.  I enjoy many of the things that are listed here.  I have a Hunger Games pillowcase on my pillow right now and wave around Hermione Granger's magic wand while I'm teaching. The problem I noticed with my exBPD is that these were the ONLY things she liked.  She never developed other interests outside of the childish ones. 

Video games, Pokemon, and coloring took precedence over paying her rent on time, filing her taxes on time, and grading papers on time.   

A prime example of childish interests taking over adult responsibilities and opportunities to do adult things.  It's not necessarily a bad thing that he builds things out of Legos; I have a few things that I've built, too.  It's the fact that he took a day off from work to do that.  When I take off work, I travel, go shopping, visit a museum, spend time with my parents, etc.   

Haha, i hope i didn't insult your love for hunger games and harry potter. But yeah thats a better way to put it. I mean i have my share of nerdy interests, but that is all she is into.

Haha, no, not at all.  I didn't even realize until I posted that you had mentioned them.  I'm a high school English teacher, so I kind of have to know about these things anyway.  I teach the hero's journey, a pretty involved literary concept, and it's much easier for students to understand it if I reference books they've actually read.

But yeah, I certainly don't spend all my time with that stuff. 

Mine likes rocks and nature programs. She can watch a program on Eagles for hours. She also likes those fantasy video games like with castles and dragons.

When she is stressed or going through a breakup she colors in kids coloring books which is common for those with BPD to do, I recently learned.

She's 43.

Mine was obsessed with Dr Who. She never watched anything about current affairs and had no idea what was going in the world. She was in her own little bubble of Facebook and lies

She ate like a student i.e. pot noodle and toast, pizza never ever cooked or shopped

She bought her son loom bands and spent most of her time playing with them. She hoarded her sons toys even though he had long outgrown them.

The fact I had collected David Bowie vinyl since the age of 17 was by her standards - childish - defies belief

On a somewhat related note, mine had a strange habit of peeing on the toilet seat like a little boy, then leaving it for me to clean up.

Not a lot of childish interests - that's probably more me with video games and anime, but I pay my bills on time! - one thing though, she used a childish voice quite a bit. I thought it was funny and sweet at first, later it seemed an indication as to her mood. No child's voice = bad day = bad me. This is the first woman I've ever been with that talked in a childish voice - first one to do a lot of things I guess.