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Got a text message from the xBPDw today.  Didn't read it for roughly six or seven hours.  Still, even without reading it, for the next thirty minutes or so I felt like I just downed a pot of coffee.  Jittery.  On edge.

So that evening I read it.  Lots of nonsense about the affair that didn't happen.  Felt a little on edge.

Today, even before I got the text message I felt as if I had a little bit of trouble concentrating at work.  Not completely distracted.

I've been like this once before.  Had a major life change, and had some trouble adjusting.  That period was worse (much worse), even though this situation was more difficult, I think.  I'm not sure what causes it, but I can bring it up with the T later this week.

Just a bit of anxiety or something.  I am almost guessing that "something is different, and the psyche hasn't figured out a routine yet" or something to that effect.

Gomez

I think what you felt was completely normal. 9 times out of 10 a txt from my BPD partner is something negative/dramatic/something that needs doing right this second. I'm in a full time job that involves a lot of concentration so as soon as I get that notification I get anxious instantly. What does he want? What abuse am I guna cop now? The big part of the anxiety for me is that I know if I dont reply straight away it escalates really fast so now I get anxious with any txt or call it's a horrible feeling!

I'm sure it's a different situation for you but that same anxious on edge feeling as you don't know what to expect

Hi Gomez,

I think this is completely normal too. I'm trying not to add to my anxiety by drinking caffeine etc. I managed to calm myself and fall asleep last night using the 'happify' app on my iPhone. It's a bit basic but any things worth a try. 

Gomez,

Seems  v e r y  normal to me.  After all her history, how could your body not remember/respond that way?  Heck, I got anxious and panic-y driving back into town just THINKING about my ex contacting me.  I had a hard time sleeping.  Like getting a cortisol injection... .how could we not feel affected?

One thing I have been doing a lot is left-nostril breathing to calm down.  It can be done in increments of 3, 11 or 31 minutes.  I have been doing a lot of 31 minute sessions!  Here's the link:  www.grdhealth.com/yogameditation/leftnostril.php.  It is easy, free, and can be done driving, in bed, talking on the phone etc.  No good reason not to do it.  I do it when I feel the panic and/or when I have trouble sleeping. 

Also, magnesium supplements are great for sleeping. Took some last night and slept like a champ.  The need for good sleep cannot be overstated at times like these. 

Keep up the good work and indict yourself just because you feel anxious sometimes. 

I think you are totally KICKING BUTT in your journey!

Thanks, everyone.

Today was better, even though there was an email. Stressed a bit, but not as bad.

I know the next few months will have plenty of ups and downs. Here's to progress.

Gomez