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Title: Update Post by: getting_better on July 22, 2015, 12:47:40 AM Separated from dPBDw for about 13 months. Filed for divorce on May 4th. Finally got her answer and counter claim. One of several bullets was:
Petitioner has used their intimate marital relations as a weapon against. Respondent often treating Respondent nice until Petitioner gets what he wants and then treating her worse subsequently. She's using a guy who is fresh out of law school, and this seems to show it. Does a comment like this even bear any weight if/when we go to a judge? Seems ridiculous to me and certainly indicative of her "idealizing / devaluing" approach to all of her relationships. I'm cautious and wary, but this type of comment seems petty to me, and I feel like a judge will roll their eyes at this. Thoughts? Title: Re: Update Post by: Nope on July 22, 2015, 08:38:27 AM If I was a magistrate I'd expect some clarification on this point. Is this some petty accusation that has nothing to do with anything in particular, or is this a thinly veiled accusation of something more devious? It seems more likely to me that your ex is just spouting things that come to mind and the newbie lawyer is jotting them down for lack of knowing what else to do.
It's most likely an attempt at FOG. Trying to bring up something you might be made to feel guilty about and turn the conversation to your wife's perceived victimhood. So you got your answer. What's next? Title: Re: Update Post by: ForeverDad on July 22, 2015, 09:52:40 AM Courts often ignore the initial claims and posturing. At least in my case it appeared so. I filed for divorce seeking custody, listed an assortment of Issues with Specifics. Her response was to also seek custody and claimed I was a child abuser. In two years the original filed statements and claims were never directly referenced.
Allegations without documentation are often either objected to and sustained or listened to and largely ignored as unsubstantiated hearsay. Excerpt Petitioner has used their intimate marital relations as a weapon against. Respondent often treating Respondent nice until Petitioner gets what he wants and then treating her worse subsequently. I could have stated that about my ex, well, but sort of in reverse, she would lead me on like bait-and-switch then afterward tell me what she wanted in return. In this case I'm guessing it is almost surely pure projection or transference. StbEx is Blaming you or more accurately Blame Shifting from her onto you. She of course feels the intense emotional need to make you look worse than her. Expect that. Prepare yourself for that. Make sure your legal strategy encompasses attacks such as that from her. Frankly though, court couldn't care less about a spouse using niceness to get intimacy. (Isn't that called wooing and romancing?) After all, how many women complain that after the men (me: "make love" ex: "get sex" then they fall asleep? That's a natural aftereffect but should the men be blamed? Court's duty these days is (2) to unwind the marriage, not to deliver justice, retribution or punishment and (2) establish custody and parenting schedule structures for post-marriage parenting. Title: Re: Update Post by: maxen on July 22, 2015, 11:29:35 AM Petitioner has used their intimate marital relations as a weapon against. Respondent often treating Respondent nice until Petitioner gets what he wants and then treating her worse subsequently. this is not a legal argument. (it's also ungrammatical.) if this gets before a judge i imagine that s/he could react impatiently. |