BPDFamily.com

Let me start by telling you a little about myself. I am 33 years old, I've been married 15 years and I have 3 children.  The main reason I joined this group is because I feel the need to understand why my older sister keeps throwing around rape accusations. The first accusation that I can remember is of her accusing my dad of molesting her.  I believe I was 13 when the accusation occurred. She left during the night went to a church members house and told them her story. The next morning my dad was arrested, I was questioned by dhs an officer and the school counselor.  He was released the next day and no charges were filed. I was devastated I was a daddy's girl. I didn't and still don't understand. About 4 years later she accused my dad again of molesting her. At this point in my life I was married and my first child was about 6 mths old. He was not arrested this time as she didn't go to the authorities, she simply left a lengthy letter in my husband's truck explaining the accusations and why she left.  Well when she returned she was married and pregnant. Time goes on, years even pass. She divorces eventually finds a new husband and has 2 more children a total of 3 (one from her previous marriage) and that's when they move in with me. They moved in with us because her husband broke his back. Long story shorter, we helped with her kids while she stayed with him at the hospital, we drove them to and from physical therapy and Did just about anything they needed while he recovered.  When he was all better they moved out and she started telling our family members that my husband had raped her and took advantage of her while they were living with us. She sent out texts told anyone that would listen and even posted it on Facebook.

It's been nice reading everyone's stories just to know that I'm not alone in this. I've had no contact with my sister since the accusations against my husband. Right now I just need to try to forgive so I can move on.

Tough stuff, confusedsole, balancing a family bond with a very difficult sister and loyalty to your primary family now (husband). You went above and beyond to help her, and she basically betrayed your trust.

Is she still stirring up drama publicly since you went NC to keep you and your family safe? Are there family members who might believe her?



Turkish

My parents and other siblings understand. My husband's family does not understand. We received many phone calls from his family asking him if he had done this to her. I am not in her life at all right now, I don't speak to her at all. My parents still talk to her but me and my parents don't discuss the conversations they have. To tell you the truth I think my mother may be borderline as well. I think her mother was as well I wouldn't know for sure with her though as I've only ever met my mom's mother twice in my whole life.  She abandoned my mother and her sisters as infants and toddlers. Sorry may be a little off track here. I guess my family is just a big mess.

Allegations of sexual abuse are like nuclear bombs. I had to do this two months ago to my Ex's family based upon what my 3 and 5 year old were telling me.

Its interesting that you refer to your grandmother as your mother's mother. Though my mother's father died 17 years before I was born, and I have his surname, I don't think f him.as my grandfather. How would you describe your mother,.or your sister?

BPD BEHAVIORS: Waif, Hermit, Queen, and Witch (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=61982)

My mom s a Hermit-Waif. My Ex is a Waif-Hermit with Queen tendencies. Lawson's book.is a tough read, emtionally, but she gives tips on how to deal with the different types.

So I would describe my sister as a Witch-waif and my mother as a queen-hermit. My mom and her sisters didn't hesitate to call their mom "mom" but I didn't feel she deserved that respect. Mom didn't meet her mother until about 8 years ago for the first time.  She didn't give me an an explanation for her absence as my "grandmother" I'm not sure if she gave them one or not but I just used her name when I was speaking to her which was just a few times.