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When I get in court will it matter to the court that my ex wont let me get my daughter while she is at work? its not in the court order, my ex was letting me get a extra day but is mad at me right now because I took my whole vacation ( 1 week ) so she has taken that extra day away.

When I asked why she replied " you didn't mind making her ( my daughter) go a whole week from seeing me"

Basically she is saying since I didn't bring my daughter back early from vacation I deserve to go a whole week without seeing my daughter.

My daughter was at a daycare and I was able to visit my daughter even if my ex didn't want me to, no surprise my ex recently pulled her out of that daycare and now has someone watch her at her house so there's no chance of me getting extra time unless she lets me.

I would think the court wont like the idea that she wont let me get my daughter while she is at work. I was picking my daughter up after my ex went to work and I had her back before my ex got home from work. to me my ex is blatantly saying that she would rather a babysitter watch my daughter then let me have extra time 

I think courts care when there is a history, and it's documented. Not one item, but the whole bunch -- the pattern.

I also think courts want you to point out the problem, then suggest the solution. My L told me that judges get jaded in court, they get tired of seeing grown ups act like little kids fighting in the sandbox. It's hard with a BPD ex because we feel we get dragged to that level. The solution is to focus on what's best for D, and have a solution. And then a boatload of evidence to show that there is a problem. Let your L handle that part, and let your L ask you questions to which you answer yes or no. If you are cross-examined by the other L, be aware that it's his/her job to suggest you are not Dad of the Year, and your job is to not emotionally engage with those falsehoods. Your job is to say, "I have an 11-year-old son I've been raising, his mother is not in his life, and I'm a devoted father, pay CS on time, want more time with my D than I am currently receiving." Then let your L say, "We recommend x because of y, and believe it will alleviate some of the stress in mother's home with multiple kids and multiple fathers, caregivers coming and going." Or whatever it is you want to propose.

Thanks livednlearned, I definitely have boatloads of evidence of patterns of this kind of thing. Im putting together a list of issues with a timeline on it backed up with dates and documentation to show the history of the past 2 years. I will also give reasons as to why I should get primary custody and how it will benefit my daughter, I also will show evidence of how I can compromise and work with my ex to do whats best for my daughter. My ex wont do the same with me and that's one of the main reasons that I want primary.

Ive only been on the stand one time and it was for the final order, I had a horrible lawyer and was not prepped at all for the stand. I had never in my life been on the stand and I was a nervous wreck but did very well when my exs lawyer came after me with a bunch of lies by my ex. It was easy because all I did was tell the truth and be honest, in fact he quit asking me questions because it was starting to dig the hole deeper for my ex by punching holes in her claims.

In these types of situations im solid as a rock, I have anxiety issues so im very nervous but once I focus on telling my side I do fine. her lawyer tried to shake me by interrupting me and taking small jabs at my character but that didn't really bother me.  It ended on a great note on the stand when I turned the question to him " wouldn't you do the same for your kids as a father? " He agreed and said no further questions