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She may end up contacting me. I don't know how I am going to handle it. I don't know how I should handle it.

Do you guys have any tips?

What can prevent me from getting sucked in?

First, realize she only has as much power over you as you give her.

Here's a cool way:

• Decide what you want and need in a relationship



• Decide if you could get those wants and needs met by her sustainably



• Act accordingly

Do you know what those decisions are for you nonya?

plain and simple: don't answer that phone call (or email or text) or whatever way she attempts to contact you

how do you know she split with the new guy?  are you keeping tabs on her via social media?  do you see her out and about?

if you really want nothing to do with this person, eliminate all the ways she can contact you... .

She MAY. Or she may find another replacement.

Don't put thought into it. Try to get focus off her. If she contacts you, ignore.


You've come a long way. Don't give up now.   

I agree don't focus on her or expect her to contact you... .it's just as likely she left your replacement for someone else.  Focus on yourself and just block her.

If I were contacted, I'd politely engage.  I really have come a long way.  I miss flirting with fire, I guess.

Hey nonya, I've been here before and I know how it feels.

'What if I am not strong enough to do what is best for me?'

The thing is, you are strong enough, and the more that you continue to be so, the less that your pwBPD will attract you. Remember, it was our own wounds that drew us to them. When we take proactive steps to become better people and to grow, the less likely we will find ourselves in unhealthy relationships.

Now, how do you think that you can lessen the odds of being tempted into doing something that might cause you pain?