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Title: BPDs using subtle ways to get your attention? Post by: problemsolver on August 01, 2015, 02:16:41 PM Has anyone ever experienced this ... no direct dialogue ... but postings things that may relate to you? making a fbook or instagram account from public to private back and forth ... quotes in pictures that may relate to you to "get your attention"... .This may sound like petty wishful thinking to some but have many of you on here experienced things of that nature? No direct communication , but something that says "hello can I have your attention" or " if you contact me while i'm interested I may respond"
Cheers Title: Re: BPDs using subtle ways to get your attention? Post by: Blimblam on August 01, 2015, 02:26:42 PM yes, yes I have. The thing that was important for me to realize is that while yes this was at times specifically targeted at me, it was more often generally targeted at this imaginary other. That perfect attachment that we felt obliged to live up to that we saw ourselves as in their eyes.
Title: Re: BPDs using subtle ways to get your attention? Post by: wanttoknowmore on August 01, 2015, 08:08:45 PM Oh... YES... .Its over 4 months since last meeting. On her FB page, every day some new pictures are being posted in different outfits, different spots (beaches,mountains, restourants etc.) posing how happy and ecstatic she is and how unlimited fun she is having. All with her female friends. These followed by quotes such as "life is short... have fun while it lasts"
"those who wait too long and get old... regret missing fun." " each day is a blessing... celebrate, enjoy and feel... .create memories" and so on. I don't know IF these posting are targeted at me or someone else ? She knows I look at her face book page as I once told her that even after b/u ,I like to know if she is doing "OK" by looking her at FB pics. Who knows ... it all may be directed to some one else ? what do you think ? Title: Re: BPDs using subtle ways to get your attention? Post by: Blimblam on August 01, 2015, 10:49:00 PM Oh... YES... .Its over 4 months since last meeting. On her FB page, every day some new pictures are being posted in different outfits, different spots (beaches,mountains, restourants etc.) posing how happy and ecstatic she is and how unlimited fun she is having. All with her female friends. These followed by quotes such as "life is short... have fun while it lasts" "those who wait too long and get old... regret missing fun." " each day is a blessing... celebrate, enjoy and feel... .create memories" and so on. I don't know IF these posting are targeted at me or someone else ? She knows I look at her face book page as I once told her that even after b/u ,I like to know if she is doing "OK" by looking her at FB pics. Who knows ... it all may be directed to some one else ? what do you think ? WOW, yes exactly! The message then become yes, you were abused but that's not the real issue the real problem is you are not enjoying yourself. You are then obligated to enjoy the abuse and as long as their are people to validate the idea of, don't let the negative get you down just focus on what you are doing to take the steps towards enjoying yourself the abuse is normalized and swept under the rug. You better believe the ex is at times feeling ashamed and guilty but she is surrounding herself with people saying, "yes, feel your feelings but life is short and what are you doing to enjoy yourself." So as long as she identifies with the self that is taking the steps towards being the best her that is enjoying herself, the abuse was just a necessary step towards the ultimate goal of self enjoyment. Its exactly in this way that the abuse gets normalized and indirectly enabled by others because everyone is collectively in denial of their imperfect state. |