BPDFamily.com

Why cant I stop analyzing what he does and says?

Because the hurt is very real... . 

if you are like the rest of us recovering from a r/s with a pwBPD, you're learning that nothing makes sense with them.

What's on your mind today?

Hi euhm,

I can understand how frustrating and stressful ruminating thoughts can be.

TOOLS: Dealing with ruminations (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=103396.0)

What are you analyzing? It helps to talk.

Because you, like anyone who is mentally stable, want answers that your ex and anyone with BPD just can't answer.

Everything about BPD is baffling to us.  In a normal relationship, we usually know why things went sour.  For example, maybe one partner develops a gambling addiction that puts the family's finances in jeopardy or there are fights every day and both partners just decide that they've had enough.  Even if we don't, we can probably say, "Yeah, things weren't the same after a few months.  We just sort of drifted apart."  Most importantly, even after a breakup, partners in a normal relationship are willing to put aside differences and sort out things like who gets the dog, when the other person can come and move his/her stuff out, etc. 

In a relationship with a pwBPD, we are often just discarded after a fit of rage, and we usually have no idea why the person had that fit of rage.  It leaves us searching for answers, and we try to find those answers in what the person said/did.  However, that only makes it worse because what pwBPD says is usually the exact opposite of what the person does.   

He said last week after an angry episode that its over and has someone else. So he leaves his security. We were together for 4 years. He took some clothes and says he leaves the furniture here for now. He had comment on the fact that men are texting me now cz they want to use me. but he brings his new one with him. I saw her in the car accros the street. He aks were my daughters pic was taken( control?) And when i cried he said maybe i better come over while you arent here. He totally lost it

Ow and he also ( looks this way) acts like he is still the man in the house. That i have to close the gate cz there a lot of thieves now etc

Am i on the right board now... cz he discided this and not me. Dont know.if i would take him back