BPDFamily.com

Heya...

I couldn't resist checking my uBPDx' facebook. It's about 15 months since she went ghost on me. Never heard from her again. I saw she had a new boyfriend which she has moved together with in a new house. They seem happy.

But, my stuff is all over the pictures. I knew she had kept my stuff in "our" house even though she had 1 or 2 boyfriends there after me. But now she even decorated the new place with my stuff.

How can that be? Is it that the things have a meaning to her you think? Or that they are just unattached stuff to her now? Or souvenirs? What's going in there?

I want to add: I decorated "our" house with the stuff one week before we broke up. So it's not like she's had them forever.

I also want to add that when I visited her the last time she asked me to bring some stuff, to remember me by.

pwBPD suffere from object constancy -- sort of like out of sight out of mind for them They'll often keep items and memorabilia to remind them of someone, much like a safety blanket or teddy bear will for a child. It's comforting for them to have those things around.

Mine sent back three shirts she borrowed from me, since those were the things that I emphasized I really wanted back. 

But she still has a book that belongs to me, with my name written in the front cover, and a small bowl that I put applesauce in for her one day before work. 

I'm assuming she still has a magnet I bought her and possibly pictures I drew for her/cards I made for her.  I'm sure that even t-shirts from the school where we both worked offer some form of object constancy, if she kept those.

She once told me that she has a flannel shirt that belonged to one of her exes.

And six weeks after she discarded me, she still had my address stored somewhere.  She deleted me/blocked me from all other aspects of her life, but she still had my address.