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Title: too much happening at once, his father is dying & ubp bf want to quit job Post by: Vindi on August 09, 2015, 01:03:22 PM hi, me and my ubp bf have been together for many years, now his dad is in the hospital and has been for over 3 weeks, and his dad is dying. I know this is a sad time, very sad, but my bf now want to quit his job, that he just started last week, and thinks he can easily find another job. I know this is not a good time to talk things over with him, but he too has bills to pay, and yes, he too has to take care of alot of things once his dad passes, which could be within a few weeks... .I just don't want my bf to make drastic choices like quitting his job (we already spoke about this and my bf is quitting this week)... .I know his dad will be passing away anywhere from a few weeks to maybe a month.
How does anyone go about talking about life and working during a stressful time when his dad is passing away? and my bf is the last survivor, he has no brothers or sisters and his mom died 8 years ago... . Title: Re: too much happening at once, his father is dying & ubp bf want to quit job Post by: Cat Familiar on August 09, 2015, 01:32:31 PM It looks like that black and white thinking that pwBPD do. Just get rid of all the problems in one clean sweep.
Not sure I can give you any helpful advice as really it's his decision, whether it be a stupid decision or not. You are teetering on the edge of being a rescuer. Be careful. Title: Re: too much happening at once, his father is dying & ubp bf want to quit job Post by: Vindi on August 09, 2015, 01:57:45 PM thanks for the response... .how do i NOT be a rescuer?
and yes, he needs to think more clearly, instead of just quitting a job and hoping he will find another one... that is not clear thinking. And, it comes at a very stressful time, his dad dying in the hospital. Sad thing is, yes, we live together and he needs to chip in to pay bills, and once his "savings" are dwindled, then what... .I tried to talk to him about not quitting his job, and he thinks he knows it all. I am going to try to stay as strong as possible, for myself... . Title: Re: too much happening at once, his father is dying & ubp bf want to quit job Post by: Cat Familiar on August 09, 2015, 02:05:10 PM I am going to try to stay as strong as possible, for myself... . That's all you can do, stay strong and be a good listener. You can tell him that X amount of money is needed for your shared expenses and you are concerned about him depleting his savings. PwBPD will do what they do and thinking clearly is not part of their program, especially in times of stress. |