BPDFamily.com

So, here goes... .

I have been staying away from the house... .avoiding seeing her.   Week on week off with kids during summer holidays.  Haven't had to hand over to her, as we drop off at a holiday kids club.    Haven't seen her in eight weeks.

I have kids this week.  Final two weeks before house is sold. Went to house with a plan to move rest of my personal effects out, put in storage... .which I did. She sent text sayings had moved out.  She said everything left was mine... That she was keeping her keys to collect her mail... .and that she hoped I was happy!  She has taken everything of value, and left the rubbish furniture... .stuff I don't want or need.   I spoke to lawyer... .House needs to be cleared. Lawyer advised changing locks, occupying house whilst clearing it at my expense.  Sent her text thanking her for letting me know she moved out, that I had changed the locks and that I would forward her mail.  She sent numerous texts saying she would be back at the weekend , and would get in as she has property in the house!  Oh my... .I hadn't planned for this... .

On top out all she has told the kids they will meet her boyfriend soon.   The very same man who cheated on her with six other women!

It's more crazy than I had thought.

The idea of my kids meeting him upsets me.  So does her crazy making. I think I'm most annoyed by her... .I hope you are happy! It's as if this was my doing!  Good grief... .what crazy nonsense! 

Anyway... .Two weeks and counting.  Any suggestions? 

Video camera at the ready. Voice recorder on.  The boyfriend ... .I'll just have to suck it up.  Horrid, but just as it is. I asked my kids what they thought... .my s7 said that his mum and her boyfriend hadn't been nice.  My kids missed me... .as I did them... .last weekend I had them I took them to an overnight stay at a zoo... .Fed chimps, bears and boar.  Good for all of us.

Crazy nonsense is an understatement! You are on one bizarre roller coaster, friend.

I don't have much in the way of suggestions to offer -- I think for many of us, we just put our heads down and plow forward through the wind. I tapped into deep reserves I didn't know I had, and somehow popped out the other side feeling somewhat worse for wear but also, strangely, like I had accomplished something.

You'll get there too one day, after this passes. The crazy nonsense won't go away, but hopefully you'll feel less gutted by it, maybe even notice it most when it's quiet 

Take photos or video what she left, her discards, in case later she claims you got the best stuff, demand more money or whatever else she might claim.

Well... .she has unravelled again... .

Found out from my kids that she is taking them abroad next week.  I sent text asking about this... .to be told it's not my business.  Lawyer advised letting her know that I'd prefer not to, but if pushed would take a court order preventing her from taking them.  Her response was go ahead.  In UK law, she needs my written permission to take them out of the country.  I'd be OK about it, but she kept it secret,  and is refusing to tell me anything about it... .all the while threatening to have the locks changed on the house!  Well, I have an emergency bag and wash kit in the car in case I come home from work to find I'm locked out.

I described today's events to a psychiatrist colleague,  who didn't know anything of my back story,  and had merely asked how I was.   He listened for a few moments,  then said... .She has a personality disorder.  

She's going on holiday, but owes six months share of the household bills.  Around £3k.  Me... .I'm in at least.£6k debt!

Well... .let's see what tomorrow brings.  

Another thing... .she moved in to the flat she is buying, without our house being sold... .now I'm wondering if she inherited money from her wealthy elderly gran.   No wonder she was keen to agree finances. 

In the US, if there is an active custody case, you can contact customs and put an alert on a child's passport to prevent them from leaving the country. Maybe that exists in the UK?

Prior to getting full custody, I also had to have written permission from N/BPDx to travel out of the country with S14 (to Canada, where I'm from), even when we were married.

N/BPDx contacted customs and there is an alert on S14's passport that I recently tried to remove. Even when it is removed, I will probably always travel with my custody documentation just in case things don't clear out of the database like they are supposed to.

Got lawyer involved re her taking kids abroad.  She told kids she is taking them abroad next week.  I tried to find out her plans by text, only to be told it's not my business... After advice, advised if pushed would take legal action... .for her to say... go ahead.  Lawyer involved liaised with her lawyer... .turns out she has no plans to go anywhere .  Well, probably no surprise. 

The cost... .kids are upset they aren't going... .Son 7 said he thought his mum had been horrible for saying they were going away, but that they're not.  And, plenty of legal fees for me.  All drama for nothing.