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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: SGraham on August 12, 2015, 09:38:20 PM



Title: Distraction methods?
Post by: SGraham on August 12, 2015, 09:38:20 PM
For those of you out there who are recently recovering from a b/u what are your favourite distraction methods? Mine is probably driving. I've found that when im doing something distracting i feel a lot better but as soon as its over it is like day 1 again.


Title: Re: Distraction methods?
Post by: disorderedsociety on August 12, 2015, 09:57:28 PM
Some might say working, but I only ruminate more at work.

I second driving. Playing counter strike helps too lol


Title: Re: Distraction methods?
Post by: Schermarhorn on August 12, 2015, 10:10:02 PM
Hanging out with friends help me, also Rocket League is very fun haha.


Title: Re: Distraction methods?
Post by: SGraham on August 12, 2015, 10:15:31 PM
Some might say working, but I only ruminate more at work.

I second driving. Playing counter strike helps too lol

Haha i love counter strike! Haha I end up getting so pissed after like 10 minutes that i have to walk away. But if we are talking video games here, nothing beats civ 5 for distraction power.


Title: Re: Distraction methods?
Post by: SGraham on August 12, 2015, 10:19:28 PM
Hanging out with friends help me, also Rocket League is very fun haha.

Yep rocket league for sure. Haha For me (being the 19 year old that i am) the funnest part is naming the car something inappropriate for when i score. - you are only a kid once but you can be immature forever.


Title: Re: Distraction methods?
Post by: BlackandBlue on August 12, 2015, 10:54:10 PM
Martial arts and weight training for me. If there one thing in particular that has helped me the most it's definitely been martial arts.


Title: Re: Distraction methods?
Post by: Lostone1314 on August 13, 2015, 01:31:09 AM
riding my Harley that the ex always wanted me to buy... so i did after she left... weights... unfortunately i spend a considerable amount of time alone... my friends and family all married and going to bars alone isnt very attractive to women sides i dont drink... kinda lost really @50 i need to make new friends but have no idea where to start


Title: Re: Distraction methods?
Post by: greenmonkey on August 13, 2015, 03:30:20 AM
I took up cycling last year to escape the craziness. I started off gently could barely ride 5 miles, now 9 months on I cycle approx 30 miles most days and do long distance charity rides.

It is therapeutic, and clears the mind, gets you out in the fresh air as well as improving fitness.

On the plus side I have lost close to 4 stone, come down 4 jean sizes and my mental health is 10000 x better. Cycling was my salvation


Title: Re: Distraction methods?
Post by: SGraham on August 13, 2015, 04:51:01 AM
Martial arts and weight training for me. If there one thing in particular that has helped me the most it's definitely been martial arts.

Yeah i can definitely see that, i think its the discipline and routine that i find attractive. I plan on taking judo or Brazilian ju jistsu. 


Title: Re: Distraction methods?
Post by: SGraham on August 13, 2015, 04:53:06 AM
I took up cycling last year to escape the craziness. I started off gently could barely ride 5 miles, now 9 months on I cycle approx 30 miles most days and do long distance charity rides.

It is therapeutic, and clears the mind, gets you out in the fresh air as well as improving fitness.

On the plus side I have lost close to 4 stone, come down 4 jean sizes and my mental health is 10000 x better. Cycling was my salvation

Nice! That's great when a distraction can be so beneficial to your health.


Title: Re: Distraction methods?
Post by: Suspicious1 on August 13, 2015, 06:20:44 AM
Mine were yoga, riding, studying psychology, sudoku and cryptic crosswords. These were all things that forced me to empty my mind of everything else. I guess those were things things I learned I needed in order to self-soothe.


Title: Re: Distraction methods?
Post by: BlackandBlue on August 13, 2015, 11:51:11 AM
Martial arts and weight training for me. If there one thing in particular that has helped me the most it's definitely been martial arts.

Yeah i can definitely see that, i think its the discipline and routine that i find attractive. I plan on taking judo or Brazilian ju jistsu. 

They very first martial art I ever trained in was judo. I really liked it at times and trained with some great people. What I didn't like about it was the fact that it is primarily a sport martial art for competition and I've always been interested in is pure street self defence. I'm currently training in jun fan/jeet kune do. I say give the judo or bjj a shot.


Title: Re: Distraction methods?
Post by: GreenEyedMonster on August 13, 2015, 11:57:07 AM
I try to do things that remind me of who I have always been.  I restore furniture as a hobby, so I've been working on a project I started before the relationship.  I also listen to music that I've liked since I was a kid to remind myself that I wasn't always just exBPD's girlfriend, that I have a history and a self that goes much deeper than that.  I hold on to the things that were "always me" that exBPD can't destroy or take away from me.

I'm also good friends with another one of my exes from years ago, and it's actually helped me to talk to him, because I can remember the person I wanted to become and find the pieces of myself I buried during the BPD relationship.


Title: Re: Distraction methods?
Post by: SGraham on August 14, 2015, 01:06:01 AM
I try to do things that remind me of who I have always been.  I restore furniture as a hobby, so I've been working on a project I started before the relationship.  I also listen to music that I've liked since I was a kid to remind myself that I wasn't always just exBPD's girlfriend, that I have a history and a self that goes much deeper than that.  I hold on to the things that were "always me" that exBPD can't destroy or take away from me.

I'm also good friends with another one of my exes from years ago, and it's actually helped me to talk to him, because I can remember the person I wanted to become and find the pieces of myself I buried during the BPD relationship.

That's a really helpful way to look at it gem, thanks. Just yesterday a friend of mine asked me to help him start meditating as he knew i used to meditate daily. So i definitely am going to start meditating again, i think it will help me to gain the upper hand over my inner dialogue.


Title: Re: Distraction methods?
Post by: SGraham on August 14, 2015, 01:07:38 AM
Martial arts and weight training for me. If there one thing in particular that has helped me the most it's definitely been martial arts.

Yeah i can definitely see that, i think its the discipline and routine that i find attractive. I plan on taking judo or Brazilian ju jistsu. 

They very first martial art I ever trained in was judo. I really liked it at times and trained with some great people. What I didn't like about it was the fact that it is primarily a sport martial art for competition and I've always been interested in is pure street self defence. I'm currently training in jun fan/jeet kune do. I say give the judo or bjj a shot.

Yeah i also am in it for more street self defence as well so i guess i will try bjj over judo. Thanks for the tip.