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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: Loosestrife on August 14, 2015, 03:53:37 PM



Title: One week NC & wavering
Post by: Loosestrife on August 14, 2015, 03:53:37 PM
Hi

Made it to the one week mark and starting to waver. I miss my ex so much, but I know if I break NC now I will lose any shred of self respect I have left and even if I end up recycling it won't be long before I'm in the dumpster again. Any words of wisdom to get past this milestone would be greatly appreciated. The pain is quite unbearable :'(

L


Title: Re: One week NC & wavering
Post by: Harlygirl on August 14, 2015, 05:56:48 PM
Hi... .Sorry you are having to go through this... .But if you remind yourself... .that although the pain of this loss cuts very deep... .it does get better... .with time... .support... .and self reflection.  Remember... .pushing through the pain to get to the other side clarifies your sense that the THE OTHER SIDE is there waiting for you... .waiting to empower you with a sense of SELF FULLFILLMENT... .You will be stronger for it in hindsight... .


Title: Re: One week NC & wavering
Post by: Darsha500 on August 14, 2015, 05:59:00 PM
"Yet even when a relationship is truly over, people still have trouble ending contact. In order to truly get past your breakup, you need to separate emotionally, physically, and psychologically from the relationship, and the primary way to do that is to stop talking to your ex. Therefore, ending communication is a priority because it will give you enough space to find peace, allow you to heal, and help you move on. In general, it is best to cut off all forms of communication, to go “no contact” (what we call NC). Today it’s incredibly easy to reach out and touch someone—too easy. Therefore, it’s important that you make the decision that you’re not going to call, e-mail, text, or leave voice-mail messages, and you’re not going to answer if your ex decides it’s time to talk. You must commit to NC, and then do your best to keep that commitment no matter what happens. Cutting off all communication is difficult to do, especially in the beginning. You used to spend a great deal of time together and were most likely the biggest part of each other’s lives. Now there is a terrible void, and you want to reach out and fill it with the comfort of the person you’ve just broken up with. A quick “hello” might seem innocent enough and you’re convinced you can keep it light, but you’re only fooling yourself. If you reach out, you stall the moving-on process. You can’t find the new when you’re holding on to the old, so you need to just let go."

From how to get past your breakup.


Title: Re: One week NC & wavering
Post by: Loosestrife on August 15, 2015, 07:21:11 PM
Thanks both, feeling desperate agsin today so logging on and reading your piers helped