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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: silver surfer on August 18, 2015, 03:12:49 PM



Title: Advice needed.
Post by: silver surfer on August 18, 2015, 03:12:49 PM
Hi all,

it's been 3 months since BU with pwBPD, 6 weeks NC.

She has had a motorcycle parked outside since she left, says she has come to collect it.

She has had 3 months to collect her bike.

She just turned up at my door, i locked it and ignored her.

She left quietly, my daughter didn't notice.

It's my daughters birthday tomorrow hmmm.

I was painted black when she left.

3 phone calls, 4 texts now, 1st text said she'd call back next week when my daughter has gone home, 2nd text says can i call her when my daughter has gone to bed etc, now she is outside again ?

I have ignored her so far .


Title: Re: Advice needed.
Post by: Mutt on August 18, 2015, 03:19:29 PM
Hi Silver Surfer,

I understand. Having a bike parked outside for 3 months can be a reason for her to come back and talk?

It sounds like she wants to talk.


Title: Re: Advice needed.
Post by: sas1729 on August 18, 2015, 03:51:20 PM
This sounds creepy. Is your goal to maintain NC? I think you're doing a great job of protecting your space.


Title: Re: Advice needed.
Post by: JohnLove on August 18, 2015, 05:00:19 PM
Probably sounds a little creepy to a non because it is rife with dysfunction and manipulation. Those "creeps" are your instinct. Designed to protect you.


Title: Re: Advice needed.
Post by: silver surfer on August 18, 2015, 09:59:52 PM
You were spot on Mutt, she wanted to talk.

Said she tried to overdose 2 weeks ago and was hospitalised, is back on meds and clean of street drugs and alcohol, in a day program, getting counselling and attending narcotics anon.

She wanted to apologize for her behaviour when we split.

I'm not sure what to believe going on past experience ?

She left peacefully and seemed to show remorse.

Birthdays were always a trigger for her.

I'm like the red indians used to say we have our reservations 



Title: Re: Advice needed.
Post by: Mutt on August 18, 2015, 10:36:11 PM
Hi Silver Surfer,

I'm sorry to hear that.

Your 14 years in recovery and no drugs or alcohol in your house.

She's back on meds and clean off street drugs and alcohol.

Maybe the hospitalization scared her or maybe she's trying to get clean because your clean? It could be her way of showing she cares? She may also relapse.

She showed remorse. I think she sounds sincere Silver Surfer.