BPDFamily.com

so, it's been a few months since I've logged into the site but to catch you up this is my current situation: Long story short my X husband left me (in an email March 6th) saying he was filing for divorce and moved out. In his email he said he wanted to work this out amicably and then a week later tried filing for full custody of our now 3 year son with crazy allegations against me and wanted me to have supervised visitation. The judge did not order this however and we currently have split custody.

Now he's filing to have my wages garnished for child support (mind you right before he left he hadn't had a job for 4 months and just got one that pays half of what he could be making) no doubt he had been planning this for a few months. I believe he left because I started standing up for myself and would no longer take the abuse. And then I thought HE HAS the nerve to leave ME after the hell I put up with. Mind you it is a blessing in disguise but now I'm dealing with having to coparent with a psychopath and someone that will not communicate with me. The only thing that makes sense of all of it is the fact our whole relationship was a lie and researching narcissism fits my x to a T. He did not show signs of this behavior until after we were married.

I don't know how this is going to work trying to do split custody and he's an excellent manipulator and hides his behavior very well. We have a GAL envolved and has him fooled ... .Any advise anyone can give me I'd very much appreciate

 What specific behaviors other than not communicating is interfering with the custody arrangement? Does the lack of communication violate the court order? How is S3 handlng this, and what is the custody schedule?

It can be very tough to separate feelings from the r/s when sharing kids. The triggers are still there, especially this early.

Thank you for your input, sorry I have not responded yet. The guardian ad litem that we have had a talk with both of us that we need to communicate. Of course I don't have a problem doing that but technically he is violating that by not communicating with me when it comes to our son

Our custody schedule right now is temporary week on week off Friday to Friday

I understand the frustration of dealing with a psyco npd. It's BPD plus a whole lot more.

It does affect your parenting.  Being physically away from this I am a better parent.

My timeline is I filed over three hrs ago, the divorce took three years, xh appealed the support , got a new order , appealed that order to go to trial. He quit his job , has a part time lower paying job.  The GAL , he wanted and got , from my first L giving in to it, is pro xh, because xh lied to and charmed him.  That does affect parenting as what the GAL says is what the judge will agree to. 

When one spouse goes for full custody it is for the other spouse to give in , " compromise" to the 50/50 order. 

Xh will not communicate with me... .unless he wants to tell me what to do and to let me know he wants a yes or no answer immediately , and this is via text.

We have a court order that we need to use OFW for communication but he doesn't use it.

I would start off now , and it will have to be repeated many times , for him to communicate via email.  Have a seperate email just for this. 

Are you able to talk to your S while he is with h? Do you need to print out phone records?

Document what you do as a parent for S.

Document , to print out , the dates of your emails and the dates of his emails. And have a calendar, online to print out , or paper, to show the pattern of his behavior.

Will there be another hearing to have these temp orders be permanent?

If so you will need a very good L, who is on your side and will fight for you and your parental rights !

You have to get more than 50% . And tie breaking decisions , and to be school resident parent.  Not joint legal, which I did to be nice.

Eventually it will be parallel parenting not coparenting. Dealing with a Npd there is no such thing as coparenting because they feel that the kids are their possessions and no one else's.