BPDFamily.com

 I just read in the motion for parenting time evaluation that the evaluator shall have access to notes from prior counselors. Is that correct? The T who dx'd B/NPDstbexh  told me weeks ago that because she saw both of us individually and together that she was legally bound to not say anything to the court, otherwise she could be sued by either one of us. But can the evaluator get her notes, since it's not directly going to the court, rather it's just one piece of info going into a complex report?  Also, she told me she didn't write anything in her notes about the disorder, my guess is because she didn't want to sink BPDh, who is in the mental health field.  Is the evaluator allowed to have a conversation with her? We have another T in our new town who doesn't write anything in her notes because she doesn't think it's insurance's business, and apparently that's the only reason she keeps notes (because insurance requires them sometimes).  I'm really hoping he evaluator is authorized to speak with our therapists. That would be a huge win for our kids.

It sounds like maybe the T is conflating ethics and legal obligations? Where I live, courts can subpoena a therapist, and then they are obligated to participate.

Also, the T should have insurance in the event there is a lawsuit. My T was sued twice by people with BPD, and both times, they gave her advance warning, so T increased her insurance 

Sometimes these things work in different ways depending on where you live. My lawyer filed a subpoena for my ex's T notes (although not an MC). We also filed a motion for N/BPDx to be evaluated by a forensic psychiatrist, and those notes were used in court. With S14's T, she made us sign a waiver so that she would work with us under the condition she was not called to court (I think there is a different law when it comes to child Ts), but the parenting coordinator was allowed to talk to her and use those notes as part of her testimony in court, which she did.

Avvo.com is also a free resource where you could post this question. It sounds like you are trying to figure out a loop hole -- the T is understandably trying to protect herself, so best to ask an L about what you can do.

If it says in the court order that the CE is allowed access then the CE should be able to take that order to the T and get access. If the T wouldn't hand them over then you could probably get a subpoena.

Remember that a diagnosis of a mental disorder doesn't necessarily make a parent a bad parent. You still need to show how the mental disorder negatively impacts the kids.

While naming a disorder may help explain the behaviors, in family court it is the behaviors and behavior patterns that carry the day.  Most here never had a diagnosis for their ex's behaviors.

Part of the reason is that generally the ex refuses to be in counseling or therapy.  Courts don't see us as neutral and trained observers.  I guess they don't want us to 'play doctor'?

Another part can be that even the custody evaluators may not want make a clinical diagnosis.  Or aren't qualified to do so.  Many evaluators order respected tests such as the MMPI-2 but don't make a diagnosis.  I recall my CE told me in the first session that he wasn't there to diagnose but rather to make recommendations on custody to the court.  Despite those limits, the initial report was a solid one, summarizing, "Mother cannot share 'her' child but Father can... ."

Another part is that a diagnosis does not mean there are 'actionable' behaviors.  For example, consider an alcoholic.  Abstinence from alcohol or moderate use does not mean a person stops being an alcoholic.  It is the behaviors that put parenting at risk.  If the person drinks while not parenting, that may not be actionable.  If the person drinks and drives with the children, that probably is actionable.  While a diagnosis sounds bad, court is more likely to make decisions based on how behaviors actually impact the parenting, not so much the potential risks.

Another aspect to ponder is that courts are inclined to largely ignore the poor adult behaviors and give more focus to the poor parenting behaviors.  It is wise to do likewise and give emphasis to the poor parenting behaviors, the ones which would or could affect the children.