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I was in a relationship with my ex BPD for 2 years. And for the two years it was a rollercoster. We broke up several times and he would find someone new online. He would kick me  in and out of his apartment constantly. Finally I moved out and found my own place, several months later he contacts me I let him back in, and he persuades me to give us my apartment, just to break up with me shortly after. Funny how  we never manage to spend any holidays together, he always breaks up with me around this time. Finally This last time around I went No contact for 7 months. He was furious, I didnt answer any emails, text, phone calls. He called my Father in another country, called mys sister at work, send her emails, professing his love for me.

Then he contacted me again after being no contact for 7 months. He wanted to apologise for how he treated me, the things he said to me,  stuuuupidly I broke no contact and  got back together.  After a few weeks, he started talking about marriage, we went to a jewelry store on a Saturday to look at engagement rings, talked about venues for the wedding and the people we would invite.  I was in la la la land again. ( I know so stupid, Its like I fall for the BS every-time).  Now we went to look at the engagement rings on the Saturday and on Monday afternoon  he discarded me again, went back to the other women he broke up with me for  and is now engaged to be married. (Discarded me by text BTW) told me to move on with my life and he can never commit to me. its now been about 2 months of No Contact which I will certainly maintain.

This individual is completely toxic. I've changed my #, blocked his email address, and blocked him on FB. My question is, now that he is getting married will he finally leave me alone for good?

I can only hope love

Hi stacma04,

*welcome*

You were together for two years, I understand how concerning that would feel when our exe's have a pattern with breaking-up and making-up. I can relate with you when you say that your ex would break-up around the holidays :)

I'm sharing from my experience when I say this,  I didn't hear from my ex wife often when she got into a committed r/s and I did start hearing from her when they started having problems. By that time I was detached from my ex wife.

Its hard to say if they're both going to follow through with getting married, they might get cold feet? Are you worried that you may not have the courage to resist if he tries contacting you and he may profess his love again?

Hi Mutt,

I know that I'll definitely have the courage to not let him back into my life because I know the crazy cycle of the relationship. I guess in some way it bothers me a little that he's getting married to someone he knew less than a year. I've been through so much with him for the past two years. He knew how much I wanted to marry him. Its like the final nail in the coffin. Look I couldn't bring myself to marring you and now I finally found the "one" ... Before being discarded we  were planning our vacation together, looking at wedding venues, looked at wedding rings, and within 48 hours, he texted me that he couldn't commit to me, and I should move on with my life. One month later he's engaged... .its emotionally exhausting.

I know how devastating this news can be  

Hello stacma04, this is TERRIBLE stuff. If he can get to you, you will hear from him again... .as soon as there are problems in the "marriage". And there will be. Stay strong.

You are lucky in the sense that you didn t marry an insane individual. I was in  a relationship for 9 months in an extremely violent one. Everytime we fought she said to me that we should marry. I was lucky to escape but I m still grieving after 4 months + of no contact. I don t know if things happen for a reason but my only advice is build inner strenght and remember never forgive someone that hurts. By doing so you ll be free. I feel empathy for your suffering since I was abused by a BPD woman. Sorry for my English is difficult for me to express in it. Since I live south of the border. I need to keep reading if any moderator can help me please allow me to read profiles. When I read a good post I want to know more about the poster who wrote it down. Writing in English for me is like continuing in a BPD relationship extremely hard. I don t have confidence, so please be kind and let me  just read.

I mean reading threads done by people with a case similar to mine.

Hi Svart,

Thank you for the reply, and I understand exactly what you were trying to articulate in your message

I hope that we all do find peace and healing, so that we can move on with our lives. I honestly believe that my ex has more traits of being Narcissistic. I cant begin to tell you the lack of emotion this person feels when they know they are hurting you. I'm glad that they do have forums like this where we cant share our experiences.

I do think that now my ex is getting married he'll finally leave me alone. I feel like him getting married is his finale way of telling me that he's done.

Much peace to you