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Title: Still cant get over it Post by: gcc_mtl on August 24, 2015, 08:19:39 PM This is my first post, although I've been reading daily for 2 months now. Id like to thank everyone for their posts, and sharing. It helps a lot.
I was in a 2.5 yr relationship. Everything was great, and then as we were shopping for a house, and I went looking for an engagement ring, she left me. She moved from my house, to another man's, and literally continued our relationship with him. She just met this co-worker, a month before, and just left. He lives a few streets away, and she took her things from my place, straight into his. Complete cut-off: blocked me on facebook, blocked my calls and emails. Whats worse is so did her family and friends. Shes sick, I kinda understand her actions, but why them too? Especially her mom and sister, who constantly asked me when I would propose? I dont understand why, at the very least, they couldnt offer me some sort of closure? Today, I am thankful she left me, and not the way around. I also realized that I couldnt have the life I want with her, and that Im better off this way. Nonetheless, I dont understand my feelings right now. If everything makes sense on paper, and I agree with the logic, why am I so torn? Why do I walk my dog and have a constant fright that I will bump into her? Title: Re: Still cant get over it Post by: once removed on August 24, 2015, 09:03:01 PM hey gcc_mtl and *welcome*
im glad you decided to join us. many members can relate to your situation and feelings. im thankful i was left as opposed to leaving, too. i couldnt pull the switch and id have had a lot of guilt and just as much pain if i had. im sorry to hear about the total cut off from her and her family and friends. unfortunately when a breakup happens, people often feel forced to take sides, and it stings. its also possible they heard a distorted side of things from her that influenced their decision, theres no way to know. do you have your own support system in the form of family and friends? i think most of us experience this struggle between our logic and our emotions. you were in a (presumably) volatile relationship for 2.5 years, that ended suddenly and traumatically, and it has only been two months. please give yourself time, and treat yourself kindly during that time. in the mean time, you may find a great deal of use in the following link when it comes to the battle of your logic vs emotions. TOOLS: Triggering, Mindfulness, and the Wise Mind (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=64749.0) Title: Re: Still cant get over it Post by: saintgrey on August 25, 2015, 02:05:06 AM Interesting, almost 6 years with my ex gf and after silent treatment --> informal breakup --> 1 week back together ? --> silent treatment for a week --> moved in with a co-worker she meet on her new job (I'm talking someone she meet for less than 3 weeks) and cut ties with her mother and sister and told me she was going to marry this person :) does not compute.
I don't know how thats works lol i mean they barely knew each other, only contact they had was at work and maybe over the phone, who knows what she told this person about me and honestly you gotta be one desperate individual to not see there is something wrong. Regarding her close family and to some extend her friends, don't worry about it mate they have all the blame being enablers in her life, this people don't accept to be told they are wrong so they just agree with whatever she claims. My advise ? Joke about the whole situation. |