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Title: Separated from wife with BPD Post by: Reality Bites on August 27, 2015, 12:02:30 AM Hello,
I have been married for 12 years , started divorce 3 months ago . I think I am going crazy , and this relationship has literally destroyed me . She hasn't been officially diagnosed , but in DBT for the last 6 months . I really don't think she really know how hurt and devastated I am . I am torn , if I stay will things get better . I have hope , than it is totally gone in one episode . My therapist wants me to seek a support group . It just baffles me that I explain my feelings , and she knows the issues , and that she just doesn't get it . She wants me to take the divorce off the table , and I just can't . I have so much hurt , resentment and anger , that I am put through so much stress ... and always in damage control . I just can't live like this , and have my whole value system destroyed ... Am I crazy ? Or I feel like I am going crazy . I don't see things getting better and I do feel guilty that I can't take ownership of her issues , I am in a prison ... I just want to move on . She has destroyed so many relationships family , friends Title: Re: Separated from wife with BPD Post by: married21years on August 27, 2015, 02:23:44 AM hi bud
read everything here you need to learn to detach from her problems and her issues look after yourself and be strong read read and read some more and careful what you share with her lol Title: Re: Separated from wife with BPD Post by: MaroonLiquid on August 27, 2015, 03:07:00 PM Hello, I have been married for 12 years , started divorce 3 months ago . I think I am going crazy , and this relationship has literally destroyed me . She hasn't been officially diagnosed , but in DBT for the last 6 months . I really don't think she really know how hurt and devastated I am . I am torn , if I stay will things get better . I have hope , than it is totally gone in one episode . My therapist wants me to seek a support group . It just baffles me that I explain my feelings , and she knows the issues , and that she just doesn't get it . She wants me to take the divorce off the table , and I just can't . I have so much hurt , resentment and anger , that I am put through so much stress ... and always in damage control . I just can't live like this , and have my whole value system destroyed ... Am I crazy ? Or I feel like I am going crazy . I don't see things getting better and I do feel guilty that I can't take ownership of her issues , I am in a prison ... I just want to move on . She has destroyed so many relationships family , friends You aren't going crazy and I'm sorry you are here. This is very difficult to handle and it is easy to get overwhelmed or consumed by it. Understand, they are professionals at sabotaging relationships with people, especially those they love and the ones that love and care for them. It takes a great deal of patience. I have been separated for almost 14 months and my wife filed for divorce 4 months ago when I refused to give in to her never ending demands and no-win situations. She won't follow through (I believe) with the divorce as she used it to keep me in conflict. She only brings it up when she can't cope or when mirroring friends who are getting divorced or that are the "do what makes you happy" crowd. She doesn't hang around happily married people too often because they wil tell her to work on her marriage. I'm praying all the time for mine to change as well and believe it will. I am working on patience... . |