BPDFamily.com

I don't know why I have not seen this question before, I don't know why it hasn't occurred to me to ask. BPD family is exactly that isn't it, non or otherwise? I recognise faint traces of it in myself as well as co dependency but am unsure as to if the traces I see are because of what has been projected onto me or because they are really there, hope that makes sense and doesn't sound like a stupid question. I am just trying to understand.

I found a irc chat on reddit with BPD people involved, they are very friendly and understanding.

Maybe you will find your answers.

sorry, what is irc reddit, thanks for replying.

ops sorry, IRC is a chat platform (english is a little rusty this days :) ) and reddit is like a crossover of social network and news, you can pretty much find anything.

I would be careful about classing yourself as BPD on the basis of a few faint traces. Remember that even mentally healthy people may sometimes act in ways they aren't proud of during a time of stress. The difference is that for us it isn't a debilitating pattern. BPD begins to develop in childhood and is a result of significant attachment problems - it's not just a question of being a bit clingy and needy. I've met people who are clingy, but they don't have BPD.

However, I do recommend talking to people with BPD if you think it would help you. There are a few blogs out there written by people with the diagnosis and I've noticed that the bloggers are usually happy to answer questions. I have a friend with BPD and talking to her has been one of the most helpful ways for me to heal after my BPD ex. She helped me to accept that my ex was very ill and that I couldn't change him, and she provided a lot of compassionate support during the worst time. Sometimes she could also 'translate' his more erratic and bizarre behaviour for me, and that helped me to stop worrying about what I did wrong and realise that it was nothing to do with me.

thanks SG, your English is fine :)

I honestly don't class myself as BPD, I don't have anger issues, I actually shrink from hurting people and know myself to be truthful and honest and very loving, not just at the beginning of a relationship either but like I say there are faint little things, slight mirroring tendencies though they may come from my insecurities as a child from abuse by my granddad. Or, oh well, I don't know or really, am just investigating myself. Thanks for your advice about the blogs etc and I am glad you had someone with first hand knowledge to turn to. x

Hi Sadly

We recently had a thread here about recognizing and dealing with our own (learned) unhealthy behaviors and nonconstructive coping mechanisms. I suggest you also take a look at it, I think you might find it interesting:

Recognizing and dealing with our own unhealthy behaviors and coping mechanisms (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=281721.0)

Take care

Thank you, am suddenly becoming an avid reader

The book "Get Me Out of Here" is an autobiography of written by a recovered BPD. It's not the best book by all means, but it was really educational overall. It's a great insight to the mind of a pwBPD.

is an active forum for people with BPD. I don't post there, but used to read posts to get an understanding of BPD. I'll warn you though, lots of triggers on there!