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Title: Moving Forward Faster than I anticipated Post by: Eye438 on September 02, 2015, 01:28:22 AM My ex has moved to another state, I have not lived with her for a month. I have ups and downs about my own we'll being more than worrying about what she is doing. I finally get to be alone with myself and settle in, and just the acknowledgement of how I drained myself out for five long years gave me a real good hearty cry because I was facing myself and the part I played, all very painful. This is a revelation now for me that I aided in a very complex unhealthy relationship.
I have a date tomorrow night with a neighbor whom I just met. I am very much looking forward to having a normal conversation that might just actually flow and i can be just me. :) Title: Re: Moving Forward Faster than I anticipated Post by: SGraham on September 02, 2015, 01:37:39 AM That's awesome eye! If i remember correctly, just a few weeks back you were pretty hung up so thats great that you are able to look at things more objectively now. Keep it up and keep us posted.
Best wishes, SG Title: Re: Moving Forward Faster than I anticipated Post by: Eye438 on September 02, 2015, 01:40:58 AM That's awesome eye! If i remember correctly, just a few weeks back you were pretty hung up so thats great that you are able to look at things more objectively now. Keep it up and keep us posted. Best wishes, SG hey what's left really just yourself if you take the time to look in the mirror, thank you for your positive input, it makes a difference. Title: Re: Moving Forward Faster than I anticipated Post by: Loosestrife on September 04, 2015, 05:46:17 AM I think dating asap is the fasted way to move on
Title: Re: Moving Forward Faster than I anticipated Post by: michel71 on September 06, 2015, 03:23:19 PM I think it is very personal how fast one gets back into the dating scene. Many factors come into play, like how much work we really need to do on ourselves. Do we have to face co-dependency issues? For most of us, this is the case. What were the other components of ourselves that enabled us to put up with the abuse over and over? The extent to which healing needs to take place varies from person to person but I can say for myself that if I dated right away I would be at a very high risk of attracting the wrong person. I also feel very vulnerable and raw. In the past I have masked the pain of a breakup with dating. It was especially satisfying for my ego. This time, however, is not a typical break up. It is the end of a marriage with a BPD. Very toxic. Highly damaging.
Title: Re: Moving Forward Faster than I anticipated Post by: Eye438 on September 06, 2015, 08:14:34 PM That's awesome eye! If i remember correctly, just a few weeks back you were pretty hung up so thats great that you are able to look at things more objectively now. Keep it up and keep us posted. Best wishes, SG hey what's left really just yourself if you take the time to look in the mirror, thank you for your positive input, it makes a difference. My first date was not good, she talked incessantly about her exBPD whom she has been separated a year. I had no idea, needless to say I had a headache when I got home, how is it possible to run into that. Title: Re: Moving Forward Faster than I anticipated Post by: SGraham on September 06, 2015, 08:52:25 PM That's awesome eye! If i remember correctly, just a few weeks back you were pretty hung up so thats great that you are able to look at things more objectively now. Keep it up and keep us posted. Best wishes, SG hey what's left really just yourself if you take the time to look in the mirror, thank you for your positive input, it makes a difference. My first date was not good, she talked incessantly about her exBPD whom she has been separated a year. I had no idea, needless to say I had a headache when I got home, how is it possible to run into that. That is crazy, ill tell you, sometimes i am left in awe at how the universe could through things like that at us. Title: Re: Moving Forward Faster than I anticipated Post by: Eye438 on September 06, 2015, 08:57:47 PM That's awesome eye! If i remember correctly, just a few weeks back you were pretty hung up so thats great that you are able to look at things more objectively now. Keep it up and keep us posted. Best wishes, SG hey what's left really just yourself if you take the time to look in the mirror, thank you for your positive input, it makes a difference. My first date was not good, she talked incessantly about her exBPD whom she has been separated a year. I had no idea, needless to say I had a headache when I got home, how is it possible to run into that. That is crazy, ill tell you, sometimes i am left in awe at how the universe could through things like that at us. somtimes I think God is standing with a giant bow and arrow aimed at my soul, this last relationship was a direct hit and major wake up call in the boundaries arena. I get the picture now loud and clear and really am focused on me and what I can and cannot handle |