BPDFamily.com

So after her calling me and telling me we shouldn't see each other anymore (after she initiated contact with me a week before), she has finally deleted me on social media... .again.

There are a few differences this time though. I do not believe I am blocked from social media like I have been every time before. And she also didn't rage when she decided to quit speaking to me. She seemed pretty calm this time and called to tell me, and I am wondering if this could be the "final discard".

I know it's impossible to predict what she may do, but I am wondering from your guy's experience what it means when they seem lucid when they say they don't want to talk to you anymore.

I can say that I am finally starting to show progress now into detaching, this is the first time that when she has "left me" that I didn't try to talk her out of it. I simply just said ok bye. The pain is not near as it was before, but now I am curious what the point of her initiating contact with me again was for.

Hi, I could have written this post after my nth recycle, and then there were a few more recycles  that followed after this too. I found that my ex also found it easier to detach each time. I wish I'd stopped giving her control over me long ago and opted to walk away myself. Don't get me wrong, I'm 4 weeks NC now (despite her trying to charm me back in) and its hurts worse than it did on day one, but I just don't want a lifetime on a BPD roller coaster, so I am trying my best to take one day at a time.

Be brave 

If I remember, you guys were taking a break and you were hoping to recycle with her right? I'm sorry it went down like that. I'm thinking she means what she says for today. I a week, her feelings might change it's hard to say. Do you think she's found a replacement and that's why she's pushing?

I second this.

You can't say either way, but there are NEVER any guarantees that they won't be back. Maybe right now things are going good in her life and you are split black. A month from now some "crisis" could hit and you get painted white again etc etc.

its not so important to wonder if she will be back or not as to figure out what you'll do if she does.

Mine has shot off again for now and i think she'll probably be back at some point, i'm undecided on a course of action if she does, which isn't good, i need to figure it out.

It's never over until you want it to be over.

How many times has she left? Mine left over 10x in three years, three times for others. This is the first time she was calm about it and just flounced off into the sunset with her new "Love of her life". Like I meant absolutely nothing.

It's painful when you do something special for someone you love and they leave you right afterwards. It's been 3mo ICE. I am fortunate enough to be friends with my ex's ex and I am learning more each day. She has done downright evil things to people. She is a liar and a cheat. She is violent and manipulative. She does not respect boundaries ever.

She is not going to magically improve with the next victim... .if anything, she has gotten better at her manipulating skills and being able to hone in on the perfect co-dependant.  I know it's my ego that wants to "win". I want to see this person suffer and her run back to me. I am aware of this and working on disbanding those emotions.

I know this is a dangerous relationship. I could have been killed or severely injured. Why would I ever want something bad for me?

Narcissism.

I don't think I am NPD... .I do possess compassion and empathy... .but I struggle with abandonment and rejection. I should be ELATED I was rejected by this psychotic woman... .but I'm not.

We all wonder if they will return but what good will that do us? The same Groundhog Day repeating pattern.

Do you want this to be your life? Pining and chasing someone who doesn't possess the ability to love you? There are Trillions of people out there, so many who CAN love us. Why are we wasting our time on chipped chinet plates from Walmart when we can possess a complete set of real china?

PW

I don't believe she does.