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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: Bigmd on September 06, 2015, 08:45:38 AM



Title: I think my ex was in my house while I was gone
Post by: Bigmd on September 06, 2015, 08:45:38 AM
Ok my ex still has key to my house. Never got it back because I don't want to talk to her. She dumped me over a month ago. I was out all day yesterday , when I came home there was a bunch of stuff out in living room like monopoly money, a grocery list , and eye glasses in middle of floor. The stuff was in daughters playroom which is closed. She wasn't at my house for two days. I know for sure that wasnt there when I left. Is this something a borderline may do? A few months ago she went to my house while we were together to let my dogs out and she raised the temp on my thermostat. I asked her why and it was almost as if it's a joke.weird.


Title: Re: I think my ex was in my house while I was gone
Post by: Yolanda123 on September 06, 2015, 08:52:32 AM
Wow that's kind of scary to think she could have gone into your house while you were not there. I would recommend you have your locks changed. I have thought about that possibility with my exBPDbf - he had a key to my house, and I got it back when we separated, but I've been wondering that he could have made a copy of the key. Be safe!


Title: Re: I think my ex was in my house while I was gone
Post by: Infern0 on September 06, 2015, 08:57:23 AM
Ok my ex still has key to my house. Never got it back because I don't want to talk to her. She dumped me over a month ago. I was out all day yesterday , when I came home there was a bunch of stuff out in living room like monopoly money, a grocery list , and eye glasses in middle of floor. The stuff was in daughters playroom which is closed. She wasn't at my house for two days. I know for sure that wasnt there when I left. Is this something a borderline may do? A few months ago she went to my house while we were together to let my dogs out and she raised the temp on my thermostat. I asked her why and it was almost as if it's a joke.weird.

"is this something a borderline would do"

er... .yeah... .

change your locks man


Title: Re: I think my ex was in my house while I was gone
Post by: Michelle27 on September 06, 2015, 03:02:38 PM
The very day my stbxh moved out of our house, I changed the locks.  I knew I wouldn't feel safe unless I did this.  It's amazing how the anxiety lowered upon doing this. 


Title: Re: I think my ex was in my house while I was gone
Post by: Bigmd on September 07, 2015, 04:30:39 PM
Also for a few weeks I've been missing all my teaspoons . Have checked everywhere and it like they disappeared . I'm starting to wonder if it was her. She would always criticize my silverware for some weird reason. Maybe this Is her way of messing with me because I haven't come running back?


Title: Re: I think my ex was in my house while I was gone
Post by: Auslaunder on September 07, 2015, 11:37:54 PM
Bigmd

I'd say yes. My ex husband entered my house three times when I wasn't home despite a military no contact order- due to his mother threatening to kill me and some other very serious offenses. It was a game. He thought it was funny to scare me and he was worried about his pet fish that he wasnt able to take with him. You should change the locks. 


Title: Re: I think my ex was in my house while I was gone
Post by: lovenature on September 07, 2015, 11:56:23 PM
I changed my locks a while ago because a house key of mine went missing, no proof my ex. took it but highly likely she did. Credit card statements of mine that I always received in the mail suddenly were not there one month. :'(  The lack of boundaries can be incredible; my ex. would just walk into my house (we never lived together) whenever she pleased if my doors weren't locked, when I told her she wasn't welcome she would just tell me "don't say that", acted as if it were her place too.   Don't underestimate a pwBPD!


Title: Re: I think my ex was in my house while I was gone
Post by: disorderedsociety on September 08, 2015, 01:44:56 AM
Change the locks. Funny about the teaspoons lol


Title: Re: I think my ex was in my house while I was gone
Post by: js friend on September 08, 2015, 03:05:11 AM
Is this something a borderline may do? ... .and she raised the temp on my thermostat.

Im sure it was mentioned in the Jodi Arias Trial that she had entered Travis's home on a few occasions and he also thought that the thermostat had also been played with.

PwBPD dont care about others personal boundaries. I would take this as a warning sign, and If I were you I would change the locks and install security cameras.


Title: Re: I think my ex was in my house while I was gone
Post by: AlonelyOne on September 10, 2015, 03:22:10 PM
As my home is the marital home. I am not even allowed to prevent her entrance.  I could change the locks. But she's legally allowed to smash in a window to enter.

And well, I wouldn't put that past her. She would make up some excuse how she needed something and had no choice to "smash" the window since I "chose" to change the locks.

"chose" is one of those keywords. She likes to use it a lot, and attribute any consequences to my choices.  For example, the reason she refuses to accommodate a holiday schedule that would allow our kids to see my family. Is because I "chose" to use the courts.