BPDFamily.com

Dear all.

I have just come across a departing letter my UPBDW wrote me just over 2 months ago, since I asked her to leave.

The letter reads as follows:   My comments in ( ).

Babe.

I wrote this letter and just want to express what I have kept inside, because you know we have been hurting each other.

I want things to get better baby and I want to be your wife still and your friend and I want to feel like I am as important as everything else in your life.

Remember how we met and we don't know how it happened ( Fate).

I met you and started to like you, I told you I think I am falling in love with you ( This was on the 2nd night).

I thought to myself you seemed like a person who would love me, take care of me and never bear the sight of tears in my eyes.

You were loving and I was sure your good sense of humour would never let the smile fade from my face, your eyes seemed to emanate a warmth which I can never forget, a warmth that I always yearned to see but never saw again.

I was so happy, thinking I was on top of the world, in seventh heaven of my fools paradise.

                                    And then the wedding arrived.

It was like a fairy tale to me and I felt like a Princess, you told me you love me and you did all this just because of me.

You never want to be far away from me, you want to be beside me always, probably you don't remember, but I remember every word you said it is etched in my memory more vividly than my own name.

That perhaps until today was the happiest day of my life.

I had left my job and chose you rather than my children and you did the same all of which was special to me.

I chose you only to be with you, something my kids cannot give me, happiness I had never felt before.

It did not seem like a sacrifice then and it doesn't seem like a sacrifice now. ( she had been working in Japan for 5 years prior to meeting me).

I was your wife and would be until the day I die, I was content at being a housewife, anything that made you happy would make me happy.

Then one day you said you did not love me anymore, I felt shattered and betrayed and I felt as if something within me had died, but not once did I think of leaving you not once.( this after I asked if she was having an affair with her best friends husband to which she threatened to throw boiling water over me and constantly beat me over the next few days).

I was not going to retaliate, I was going to put everything into saving our marriage, everything the last vestige of my being had to offer, I would only give and let you take all.

I didn't mind being treated this way, if torturing me and cursing me was giving you any pleasure, that was good enough for me then so be it. (Nonsense)

One day you would realise and change and become the man of my dreams, the dream that I had never came true.

(Devaluation)

I had heard of people separating/divorcing, but never thought it could happen to someone who was committed to a marriage and never thought it could happen to me.

If you put a knife through me it would not have hurt more than those casually written words.

I am still in the period of recovering from this shock "our baby and you babe"  I don't know if I ever will recover,   ( Found out she was pregnant on the Saturday and I am pretty sure she was screwing another guy the following Thursday, she lost the baby, but during pregnancy was acting out pretending to try and commit suicide via hanging and threatening to jump off the balcony).

I want to ask you what right you had to ruin our marriage.

Did I and the 6 years we spent together mean nothing to you, were those words you said so worthless that you discarded them with a blink of an eye, is the institution of marriage a joke to you.

Your life will go unchanged, undeterred, but my family and I have suffered more than you can ever imagine, I will never know why you married me at all.

I am not angry, but deeply hurt, beyond expression. ( This after I had paid for the kids apartment, schooling and food, also after she had received a text message, deleted it and then said I am now ready to let you go.)

Playing the victim at it's best me thinks.

 

The letter is filled with her side of the story . It is designed to make you feel guilty and shift the blame on you with the word like betrayal, I chose you rather than my children, sacrifice, anything that made you happy make me happy, I would only give and let you take all, if torturing me and cursing me ... .

I don't see any understanding of why the marriage dissolved and what she has done ... .SHe believed she was the good one and in deed you were the abuser one. Sound just like my xBPDgf who claimed her xh was indeed the abuser and she was only the angelic victim.