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Title: Need help Post by: Darkcloud on September 07, 2015, 09:15:45 PM First I like to say hello to everyone.
I'm really struggling right now, been together with my partner for three now , the first year our life was really good he was very kind and nice. We had our fight but nothing crazy . I then found out he was doing drug all kind pot, coke , and herion. I was thinking of leaving but he admit he will try to work on it I run around chasing him making sure everytime he relapse to help him . He said the reason was his ex of seven years cheated on him and he couldn't stand the pain . I believed him. He was drug free for a year with only smoking pot. To make long story short . We decided to have a family . I have a nine months old son now. I didn't know he had borderline till I was pregnant, It was worse because usually I would give in to make him happy and always sorry, but since I'm pregnant I though he would try to treat me nice and I don't have as much patience with him. I was up all night taking care of my baby . He would always critics and criticize me for everything, blame me for everything all the problems he has . Don't get me wrong he is nice to me at time too. But he becomes very abusive physical and mental because sometimes I began to have resement and hate toward him , thinking how selfish he is . He even doing herion again and when he got sick accused me of not taking care of him because he had use some bad Herion. I lost sight of separate the person from the disease. Lost of control of myself I began I get very angry at him wishing he die at times. I become very sucide if not for my son I might have died. He had took all my money and wallet and my car he had manipulated my family to think I was crazy I was trap in a house with my mother bitterly complaining what a horrible person I was . I feel hopeless and was ready to die but what would become of my son , I called a friend and ask her to help. I got a hotel and stay with my son for three day now. I don't know what to do . Is bieng a borderline meant they have no logic think for a moment how could he do this to me and my son ? I have never done anything to him except help him and even financial I have spent 100 k to help him , I'm now broke and he had taken everything from me ! I Still believe in God and I do care about money I just want my son to be happy . He now trap in a hotel with me . I try to play and make him happy as I could . Should I just try to move out of state and start a new life . But sometimes I want to tell everyone about his disease so they know who he really is. But then I don't want to be a mean person . But I guess I just suck up all the pain and move on Title: Re: Need help Post by: babyducks on September 08, 2015, 05:04:14 AM Hi DarkCloud,
Welcome to bpdfamily. It sounds like you are having a very difficult time and things are very hard right now. Do you have any support where you are now? From friends and family? We have a lot of information on this site to help explain Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). If you click on any of the links in the box to the right, you will find important helpful information. On the bottom of the box is a link to Safety First, go ahead and click that link first and read there. Once you've read there, please come back here and tell us more. okay? 'ducks |