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Title: Dealing with an upcoming pregnancy and uBPD mom Post by: Justme1 on September 07, 2015, 11:41:24 PM My husband and I are planning on having a baby soon, and I'm already concerned with how my mother is going to react to the news and treat us during my pregnancy.
If you've been through this before, what advice can you give us? Did you tell her right away? Was she indifferent or did she treat you poorly the entire time? What about after the baby was born? My mom doesn't like my husband and was at her worst during our engagement. So although she's been better recently, I'm still very concerned. This will be her first grandchild. I'd love to hear your stories and advice! Title: Re: Dealing with an upcoming pregnancy and uBPD mom Post by: HappyChappy on September 08, 2015, 07:48:14 AM It’s pretty standard for a BPD mom to dislike their kid’s partner, or just blank them. It’s all about control. When we had our kids, our BPD was a not really interested until the kids were born. Why would a BPD do anything for us, unless there’s an immediate pay off ?
You ask what to expect, past performance is the best indication of future performance of a BPD. Our BPD used exactly the same manipulation techniques on our kids as she did on us. Triangulating in the same way, every detail similar. Your BPD will trasfer her fears onto you and the kids. So our BPD was often accused of not being a good parent, so she always tries to undermine our parenting skills. My wife's advice (I've checked) is forget about your BPD, it’s your kid. Focus on the whole being pregnant and glowing thing. A BPD has no “mothers intuition”, no idea about unconditional love, so probably not the best advisors on kiddy matters - but no doubt they think they are the best. Congratualtions on the upcoming pregnancy. :) |