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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: stacma04 on September 11, 2015, 12:42:54 PM



Title: Do BPD re-engage you after getting engaged to new supply?
Post by: stacma04 on September 11, 2015, 12:42:54 PM
I don't think theirs really a definitive answer to this but I'll ask anyway. My BPD ex is now engaged, I have gone strict NC. blocked his email address, changed my phone# also have him blocked on FB. I was NC for 6 months, broke it and now 3 months NC again. Now that he's engaged to be married, and seems to be committed to his fiance, should I be worried that he will try to make contact again? He did tell me that he can never commit to me and I should move on with my life...  I'm in a better place now but just don't want to have to go through the drama again.

Just a side note... .while we were NC six months ago he met his new supply broke up with her to come back to me then went back to her and is now engaged.

Any feedback would be appreciated.


Title: Re: Do BPD re-engage you after getting engaged to new supply?
Post by: Pretty Woman on September 11, 2015, 01:31:33 PM
Why not? BPD's are predictable unpredictable.

You thought you were in a committed relationship, correct? What makes an engagement different? A ring on the finger? My ex had a ring on her finger... .several times... .from several different people... .she is not with any of them... .she's been in touch with ALL of them after the broken engagement... .even if it's years later. If he starts to devalue her you might be painted white again and maybe he will re-engage. You never know.

If he couldn't commit to you what makes you think he can commit to anyone? It could happen but you can't worry about it. None of us can predict the future. If he is truly BPD the likeliness is it won't be any different for his new fiancee. They tend to repeat patterns. Mine does.

Try to get the focus of him though... .that is not going to help you in the longrun. You can't crawl inside his head and figure out his every move. Keep on focusing on moving forward. If and when he re-engages you will be able to handle it when the time comes.



Title: Re: Do BPD re-engage you after getting engaged to new supply?
Post by: shatra on September 11, 2015, 02:22:18 PM
stacma wrote----

He did tell me that he can never commit to me and I should move on with my life...  

---Did he say this at breakup or after the 6 mos NC? What was the reason for the breakup?

while we were NC six months ago he met his new supply broke up with her to come back to me then went back to her and is now engaged.

----So he has already done this. It is possible he will do this again then.



Title: Re: Do BPD re-engage you after getting engaged to new supply?
Post by: stacma04 on September 11, 2015, 02:29:00 PM
Hi Shatra,

He did tell me that he can never commit to me and I should move on with my life...  

He said this after we got back together after 6 months NC, and at time of the breakup via text.