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Title: How do you come to terms with leaving if your pwBPD has no one else? Post by: Wall bike on September 12, 2015, 02:26:48 PM The pwuBPD in my life is a middle aged mother with no job/job skills, an inability to handle life's basic trials, children, income limited to what I provide, not one close friend or family member, unaware anything is wrong, will not seek help, and would not likely follow any formal counseling plan or prescribed medication.
How do you possibly even start to wrap you head around leaving them even though you cannot handle it any more and feel like you would have to die to be free without guilt? Title: Re: How do you come to terms with leaving if your pwBPD has no one else? Post by: AsGoodAsItGets on September 12, 2015, 02:50:34 PM Wow, your a good person. Honesy I made a promise that I didn't keep. Yet I am happy now. The ex couldn't even look me in the eye afterwards, truth is that person got the best of men, and ruined my life. Still in the process of fixing it. One thing I have is a partner who loves me. My ex in a strange way tough me what love is, her life is fine now, we did get her off drugs and a new job. Ex never wanted to do counseling. Didn't know she had a mental disorder. Though it was just addiction. You get one life to live. Thier is a lot of people waiting to love someone like you. You given a lot of love, let this person go. Keep reading, and posting. You can email me if you like. Stay strong.
Title: Re: How do you come to terms with leaving if your pwBPD has no one else? Post by: SummerStorm on September 12, 2015, 03:20:37 PM pwBPD are survivors, so even when it seems like they have no one left, they will likely bounce back and find a new supply.
Three months ago, my former friend BPD was in the psych ward. Other than her parents, the only people who visited her were me and her boyfriend. Fast forward a week, and she ends our friendship. Fast forward two months, and she breaks up with her boyfriend. Fast forward a few weeks after that, and she is desperately trying to find somewhere to live here, instead of going to live with her parents. A few weeks ago, she even asked me if she could live with me. But now, she's found an apartment, is getting a promotion at work soon, and has apparently made all kinds of new friends, since she told me last night that all sorts of people she knows now think I'm crazy. So basically, a bunch of people who work with her at a convenience store/gas station think I'm crazy. And I'm apparently supposed to care about this, lol. I know how hard it can be, but at the end of the day, you're the mentally healthy one, and you have a chance to be happy. My former friend BPD was formally diagnosed and said she was going to get help, but she changed her mind a few weeks later. Title: Re: How do you come to terms with leaving if your pwBPD has no one else? Post by: pallavirajsinghani on September 12, 2015, 03:30:35 PM How do you come to terms with leaving if your pwBPD has no one else?
Perhaps by coming to the same conclusion that the main character in this story did: www.thecruxmovie.com/pdf/TheBridgeShortStory.pdf Title: Re: How do you come to terms with leaving if your pwBPD has no one else? Post by: Lucky Jim on September 14, 2015, 04:32:30 PM Hey Wall bike, Let me quote from a great little book:
"Let go of the illusion that you have to sweep anyone's porch but your own." "Take responsibility for yourself . . . it isn't your duty to do it for anyone else." "If you have been doing more than your share, liberate yourself with this one realization: It's OK to stop." LuckyJim Title: Re: How do you come to terms with leaving if your pwBPD has no one else? Post by: Wall bike on September 16, 2015, 07:53:39 PM Thanks for sharing. it seems so simple.
Title: Re: How do you come to terms with leaving if your pwBPD has no one else? Post by: OnceConfused on September 16, 2015, 09:13:11 PM do you have children that are older now?
Remember how you have to feed your babies, help them craw, then walk, ride a bike. By the time they are old enough to leave do you worry that they will not be able to feed themselves, care for themselves ... .But yet most of our children will be fine on their own as they wane from you. Your BPDso will be able to do the same. If they cannot , then the question is who put them there . Of course, they put themselves in those positions. |